June 2006 – postcards from the pug bus

Michelle Wie Tied for Lead at U.S. Women’s Open

philmaggitti 241 Views 2 min read

NEWPORT, R.I. – Michelle Wie is tied for the lead after the first day of the U.S. Women’s Open at the historic Newport Country Club. Ms. Wie, who is taking time off from her quest … Read on

News

Google Checkout Is Based on Its Own Currency

philmaggitti 226 Views 2 min read

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – While e-commerce analysts describe what is expected to be a war for the minds and wallets of Internet shoppers between Google Checkout and PayPal, the most important feature of Google Checkout … Read on

Celebrities

Britney Spears Explains Why She Posed Naked

Chip Hilton 233 Views 1 min read

MALIBU – Britney Spears issued a brief press release yesterday explaining her decision to appear naked in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar. According to Ms. Spears, her choice was “the next logical step” in … Read on

Celebrities

Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban Honeymoon Off to Solid Start

Chip Hilton 215 Views 4 min read

SYDNEY – Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban began their honeymoon yesterday, accompanied by several accountants, lawyers, financial advisors, and a “mutually acceptable” arbitrator. Some rumors had the honeymoon party bound for Fiji, while other sources … Read on

Culture

JonBenet Ramsey Death a Suicide, Said Late Mother

Biff Scuzzy 249 Views 3 min read

MARIETTA, Ga. – The death of former beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey has been called a suicide by her mother, Patsy, who died of ovarian cancer Saturday at the age of forty-nine. The stunning revelation came … Read on

Religion

Gay Bishops Won’t Support Openly Episcopalian Clergy

philmaggitti 229 Views 2 min read

COLUMBUS, Ohio – The leadership of the American Association of Gay and Lesbian Bishops (AAGLB) resorted to eleventh-hour lobbying in an attempt to save its membership in the International Synod of Gay Clergy (ISGC). During … Read on

Horoscopes

Paul McCartney When I’m Sixty-Four Horoscope

philmaggitti 236 Views 4 min read

LONDON – (Editor’s Note) After waiting nearly four decades, Paul McCartney has learned to his dismay that the answers to the questions he posed when the Beatles released “When I’m Sixty-Four” are all no. Not … Read on

Sporting Life

JJ Redick, Ben Roethlisberger Did It to Impress Paris Hilton

Biff Scuzzy 260 Views 3 min read

DURHAM, N.C. – Sports fans have been wrestling with a pair of troublesome questions this week: Why would former Duke basketball star JJ Redick get wasted enough to attract police attention just weeks before the … Read on

Music

Paul McCartney’s Top 10 Signs Your Wife’s a One-Legged Hooker

philmaggitti 221 Views 2 min read

LONDON – Paul McCartney told the News of the World that he realizes now he should have seen the signs that Heather Mills, his estranged wife, had been a call girl before she married him.… Read on

Horoscopes

Olsen Twins Nutrition Horoscope

philmaggitti 245 Views 5 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Lucky you, sharing a birthday with the Olsen twins. What could be better? If you want your life to be more like the Olsens’—and who wouldn’t—you have two choices. You could … Read on

Celebrities

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Leave Namibia in Chaos

Chip Hilton 234 Views 2 min read

SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Standing proudly in front of a large banner that read “Mission Accomplished,” Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt waved to a cheering crowd of body-
guards, personal servants, and security experts prior to … Read on

News

U.S. Military Leaks al-Zarqawi Sex Tape, Sunnis Riot

philmaggitti 221 Views 5 min read

RAMADI , Iraq – Thousands of Sunnis rioted after a U.S. military official had leaked a copy of a twenty-five-minute sex tape found in the rubble of the “safe house” where Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was … Read on

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Slams Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt

Chip Hilton 226 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Tom Cruise has charged Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt with exploiting their newborn daughter, Shiloh Nouvel, “to wage a multimillion-dollar publicity campaign to bolster their careers.” Mr. Cruise made these charges in an … Read on

Sporting Life

Michelle Wie Contemplates Retiring from Golf

philmaggitti 253 Views 4 min read

SUMMIT, N.J. – Michelle Wie has nothing left to prove on the golf course, and she may retire soon to pursue other career opportunities in arenas traditionally dominated by men. Ms. Wie made her announcement … Read on

Horoscopes

Angelina Jolie Birthday Horoscope

philmaggitti 216 Views 4 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Horoscopes by Pugnacious, the half-man, half-beast, half-witted seer possessed with the singular ability to predict the future, often before it occurs. Unlike other astrologists, who describe the world as they see … Read on

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