Trey Anastasio App Pulled by Google, Phish Fans Bummed
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – In a move that is certain to harsh the mellows of thousands of Phish fans, Google
ContinueMonth: September 2011
Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Mounting Remake of Don Quixote
HOLLYWOOD – In conjunction with what would have been Miguel de Cervantes’ 464th birthday, Tom Cruise has scheduled a
ContinueAn Open Letter to Those Barenaked People in San Francisco
Dear Hideous-Looking Assholes:OK, you had your little nude-in last Saturday, now put your damn clothes on. Put ’em all on, every last
ContinueHookers Rally in Philadelphia to Protest NBA Lockout
PHILADELPHIA – When two pick-up teams featuring NBA stars LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, and others lace up their
ContinueTexas Says Death Row Inmates Deserve Healthier Last Meals
HUNTSVILLE, Texas – The execution of Lawrence Brewer has reignited the controversy about the last meals traditionally served to inmates
ContinuePatriots Cheerleader Alexa Flutie Should Jump to Canada
FOXBORO, Mass. – Alexa Flutie, who finally made the New England Patriots cheerleading team this year, should consider a move
ContinueHow to Tell If Your College Football Team’s Uniforms Are Gay
BRISTOL, Conn. – Are we hallucinating or have college football uniforms become more and more gay looking these days? When
ContinueHeidi Montag’s Surgically Enhanced Birthday Horoscope
HOLLYWOOD – Born today you share a birthday with actress Heidi Montag—at least with her original parts. A former star
ContinueCelebrating National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month
PHILADELPHIA – September is National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, when we pause to acknowledge obese children across the United States.
ContinueAn Open Letter to the Rolling Stones
Dear Mick, Keith, Charlie, and the New Guy,I have learned recently that you geezers might be touring next year. Please
ContinuePretty Woman, Julia Roberts, Hooker-Kid Mom Is Ass Hat of the Moment
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – What sort of dipshit thinks it’s “hysterically funny” to dress her three-year-old daughter as a hooker and
ContinueHelp Save the Post Office, Take This Quiz
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The United States Postal Service (USPS) may go tits up this winter if Congress doesn’t provide
ContinueRick Perry Says Animals Were Domesticated by Intelligent Design
MULESHOE, Texas – Governor Rick Perry told an audience at the First Evangelical Church of the Chosen Flock last night
ContinueText of Obama’s Jobs Speech Leaked
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The text of President Obama’s major address about jobs, scheduled to be delivered before a joint session
ContinueBush Surprised by Visit to Iraq, Thought He Was in Texas
AL-ASAD AIR BASE, Iraq – President Bush made a surprise visit to the Al Asad Air Base in the Anbar
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