Exclusive Interview with a Handicapped Parking Sticker Cheat
WILMINGTON, De.–We’ll call him Ralph. He is one of a growing breed of white-collar hipster criminal: the handicapped-parking-sticker cheat. You
ContinueMonth: August 2013
Republican Drive to Impeach Obama Focuses on His Biracial Status
WASHINGTON‐House Republicans, who have been accused of being racists for wanting to impeach President Obama, have issued their strongest denial
ContinueNSA Admits to Snooping on Your Booty Calls
WASHINGTON–National Security Agency (NSA) personnel have, on numerous occasions, used their agency’s ginormous eavesdropping power to spy on booty calls
ContinueAllen Iverson Set to Return to the NBA as Philadelphia 76ers Mascot
PHILADELPHIA–Allen Iverson, an eleven-time all-star who has not played in the National Basketball Association (NBA) since 2010, is set to
ContinueNSA Instrumental in Busting Thai Gang Selling Fake Elephant IDs
BANGKOK(AP)– The National Security Agency (NSA) is claiming to have played “a major role” in helping police in Thailand to
ContinuePope Francis Appoints St. Christopher the Patron Saint of Texting
VATICAN CITY–In perhaps his most populist and daring move yet, Pope Francis the First, also known as The People’s Pope,
ContinueAsk Nietzsche, Advice for Atheists When People Say Grace Before a Meal
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Atheism is the quickest-growing non-religion in the United States. To celebrate this glorious fact, we are pleased to
ContinueRobert Redford’s, Roman Polanski’s, and Martin Mull’s Horoscope
Born today you are strongly influenced by the House of Cinema, the ruling house in Leo. Unfortunately, the House of
ContinueOprah Stomps Her Way to an Ass Hat of the Moment Award
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Oprah Winfrey gave away a car on Jimmy Kimmel’s show last night in a transparent attempt to deflect
ContinueSt. Giles, Patron Saint of Breastfeeding, Hermits & Edinburgh, Scotland
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–If you are a breastfeeding hermit living in cave near Edinburgh, Scotland, have we got a saint for
ContinueCelebrity Horoscopes by Catmando, the Star-Hating Seer
Some interesting celebrity birthdays will land in Catmando’s litter box this week. On Wednesday the impossibly white Steve Martin will
ContinueJoseph of Cupertino, Patron Saint of Air Travel, Dummies Books
On October 4, 1630, the village of Cupertino, Italy, held a procession on the feast day of Saint Francis of
ContinueSlap Hillary and Ten Other Women that Need Slapping
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Ultra Violet, a group that wages a self-righteous holy war against perceived sexism, has its white cotton panties
ContinueObama Unfriends Putin on Facebook, International Crisis Looms
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Pug Bus learned overnight that President Barack Obama has unfriended Russian president Vladimir Putin on Facebook in
ContinueYour Horoscope Features Some Complex Shit
The dominant birthday this week belongs to Paul McCarthy, who was born on August 4, 1945. Formally trained as a
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