President Trump Vows to Make GPS Great Again
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump announced this morning that he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise
ContinueMonth: August 2019
National Just Because Day
Today is National Just Because Day, an opportunity “to do something without rhyme or reason,” according to the folks at
ContinueDon’t Call Me a White Person Anymore
Recently I was informed by the entrail readers at 23&Me that I am 1/500 sub-Saharan African or any other non-white
ContinueGanjascope℠ Got Weed? Get Scoped
Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21): Sagittarians are ever the cynics. Always willing to believe it isn’t butter; that some people’s minds
ContinueConversation with Man Whose Shit Doesn’t Stink
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – A twenty-five-year-old local man whose shit literally does not stink blames his rare condition for ruining
ContinueWhat to Do When She Screams for God During Sex
WEST CHESTER,Pa.—Atheism is the quickest-growing non-religion in the United States. To celebrate this encouraging development, we introduced recently an occasional
ContinueHigh Times Touts CBD-Infused Maxi Pads
In its September issue, which has been out since mid-June, High Times magazine ran sponsored content pimping CBD oil as
ContinueDiscordian Convention Coming to West Chester, PA
WEST CHESTER,PA–Once known as The Athens of the East, this leafy college borough is bidding fair to become San Francisco
ContinueThe Pug Bus Presents Your 420 Gangascope℠
Aries (3/21 – 4/19): Someone sitting next to you at a concert will execute the puff-puff-pass maneuver; then he’ll ask
ContinueOMG There’s a Patron Saint of Shorthand ISYN
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–If you’re STD (sick to death) of people who splatter their “writing” with SFS (stupid fucking shorthand), you
ContinueThe Kids Are All Right
I have nothing against children. Indeed, I think qualified persons should own a few. Children are often cute, sometimes amusing,
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