Atheist Scores Exclusive Interview with the Historical Jesus
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Although we hold no brief with invisible friends in the sky—not the nine choirs of angels, the eight
ContinueMonth: March 2022
Your Horoscope Is Determined By Your Car
Gemstones, colors, and planetary alignment are the traditional ingredients in the astrological stew. Unfortunately they emphasize nature to the exclusion
ContinueThe Sacred Paraphernalia of the Zodiac
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Everybody knows that different gemstones, power phrases, colors, handshakes, and non-GMO crystals are associated with the various signs
ContinueHow to Understand the Tao Te Ching Without Actually Reading It
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Tao Te Ching, a book of ancient Chinese wisdom, is roughly 2,500 years old, but nobody has
ContinueTop Ten Reasons Cats Aren’t Mentioned in the Bible
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in
ContinueGanjascope Wins Consumer Reports® Nod
Unlike most pot-related horoscopes, which aren’t worth the pixels they’re printed on, the Ganjascope℠ was chosen recently by Consumer Reports® as “the
ContinueDeaths from Weighted Blankets on the Rise
WEST CHESTER–A seventy-five-year-old woman, whose name was being withheld at press time, was found dead in her apartment yesterday afternoon,
ContinueStudy Finds that Shadows Lead Lives of Quiet Desperation
CHICAGO—A study conducted recently by the University of Chicago suggests that shadows lead flat, unfulfilling lives. According to the study—based
ContinueScarlett Johansson’s Ass to Star in American Express Ad
NEW YORK – Scarlett Johansson’s ass and American Express: the perfect fit. Ms. Johansson never leaves home without them. Scarlett
ContinueAMA Dropping Elitist Foreign Names for Phobias
CHICAGO—American Medical Association (AMA) board member Deter Camel, MD, MPH, HMFIC, ended weeks of speculation when he announced yesterday that
ContinueIt’s the THC, Stupid
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA–The average American pick-up truck has gained 1,142 pounds since 1990. The average American, about the same. The average
ContinueJoe Biden: The Great Auk to the Rescue
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—The mascot of the Catholic prep school that Joe Biden attended is a large, extinct, flightless bird
ContinueNational Drunks Against Madd Mothers Day℠
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–James Carville described Pennsylvania as “Philadelphia on one side, Pittsburgh on the other, and Alabama in between.”
ContinueLocal SPCA Rescues 250 Pug Dog Figurines
CHADDS FORD, Penn. – Acting on a tip from a local animal rights activist, police and SPCA officers raided the
ContinueUpdates for Old White Man Apps Due from Apple, Google
CUPERTINO, CA—Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking contest to see who can get to market first
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