Parental Controls Fail: Porn, Stupid TV, Cooking Shows Still Dominate
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Despite their widespread use, parental controls have been a disappointment as a means of empowering children
ContinueMonth: April 2022
Atheist Brotherhood to Begin Unbaptizing Dead People
WEST GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Pa.–The Universal Brotherhood of the Confrontational Atheist (UBCA) will begin unbaptizing dead people next month, says the
ContinueDid God Write Other Books Besides The Bible?
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Like J.K. Rowling, who has not stopped writing since finishing the Harry Potter series, God may not have
ContinueCDCP Issues Rare Purple Alert Regarding Naked Yoga Breast Feeding
ATLANTA, Ga.–The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP) has issued a purple alert, its highest consumer warning, over the
ContinuePortly Singles Kicked Off BeautifulPeople.com Launch PrettyFaces.com
BOSTON, Mass. – Portly singles kicked off the elite dating site BeautifulPeople.com, the self-proclaimed “sexiest website in the world today,”
ContinueYin and Yang Seek Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable Differences
Brussels–Yin and Yang, one of the world’s most beloved and recognizable couples, has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as
ContinueMagic Mushroom Research Validates Sixties Stories
BALTIMORE, MD — Researchers at Johns Hopkins University’s School of Medicine’s Internal Research Department have demonstrated that the sixties, a
ContinueThoughts on First Visiting Wellsboro Cemetery
The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow’r,And all that beauty, all that wealth e’er gave,Awaits alike th’ inevitable hour.The
ContinueA Barrel of Laughs at the Gastroenterology Office: You Can’t Photoshop This
WEST GOSHEN, Pa.—When was the last time you had a good laugh in the gastroenterology office? A really good laugh, not some
ContinueNational One-Hit Wonders Day Quiz
WEST GOSHEN, PA—Today we sing the praises of the one-hit wonder (OHW)—pop music’s most prodigious benefactor, the artist who keeps
ContinueLeaked Memo Reveals New Dummies Offerings
HOBOKEN, N.J. – John Wiley & Sons, publishers of the gratingly familiar black-and-yellow Dummies books, has sold more than 200
ContinueHow to Tell You Were Masturbating to Bad Porn
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Jesus once said, “The porn you will always have with you.” He was right. In fact, porn is
Continue5 Easy Hacks for Improving Your Karma This Summer
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Contrary to popular opinion–and to the creators of My Name Is Earl–karma is not about payback, nor
ContinueNew Study Suggests: Obesity Is Weighing Down the Human Soul
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa–A new study published in Applied Psychological Measurement suggests that the obesity epidemic has begun to make quantifiable inroads
ContinueThe Grammar Prick Dares You to Take This Pronoun Test
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – This morning I read the following sentence on a blog: “Anyone who thinks that having a
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