Wednesday, April 24, 2024
Celebrities

Angelina Jolie Confirms Adopt-a-Highway Program

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MALIBU, Calif. – Angelina Jolie is expected to confirm the arrival of her long rumored adopt-a-highway program today. The civic-minded actress said in a press release that the program is an attempt to “transcend the limitations of time and space” that constrain traditional adoptions, which are normally confined to children and animals.

“Although I still plan to adopt as many non-Caucasian children and animals as possible,” said Ms. Jolie, “I realize that after I’ve adopted fifteen or twenty children and two or three dozen animals, I’ll hit the glass ceiling. Highway adoptions, however, can be unlimited.”

According to a source close to Ms. Jolie, she has already selected the first three highways she will adopt: a four-mile portion of old Route 66 near Flagstaff, Arizona; a two-mile length of Route 561 that runs past Camden, New Jersey; and a three-mile segment of U.S. Highway 101 in Beverly Hills, California. Her friend Mr. Pitt plans to accompany her when she visits state highway departments to fill out adoption papers.

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Unlike conventional adopt-a-highway programs, Ms. Jolie’s will not be sponsored by the local Rotary Club or Drum and Bugle Corps. Priority will be given instead to the adoptive parents of Third World children living in the United States. Accordingly, two of the first adopted highways will be named after Ms. Jolie’s adopted Cambodian son, Maddox, and her adoopted African daughter, Zahara.

Actor Brad Pitt, who dabbles in architecture, has designed several prototypes of adopt-a-highway signs. The current life partner of Ms. Jolie—and the father of a biological child with her—Mr. Pitt was previously married to Friends star Jennifer Aniston.

“I am thrilled to be a part of this project,” said Mr. Pitt. “I always wanted to adopt highways when I was married. Unfortunately, my wife did not share that enthusiasm.”

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