Angelina Jolie Wants to Adopt Basenji Next

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NEW YORK – Adoptive mother Angelina Jolie paid a surprise visit to the ASPCA shelter yesterday. She was there, she told shelter employees, because she wanted to adopt a basenji, an African breed noted for its intelligence.

Unfortunately, the shelter did not have any basenjis available. Nevertheless Ms. Jolie spent three hours being fingerprinted, answering questions, and filling out preadoption paperwork.

“We don’t get many calls for basenjis,” said shelter adoption counselor Angela McClusky, who explained that Ms. Jolie will be put on a waiting list “until we’ve had a chance to inspect her financial records and, of course, pending the results of her drug test. We won’t be cutting her any slack just because she’s a celebrity.”

At a press conference following her visit to the shelter, Ms. Jolie told reporters, “Adopting a dog in New York is more difficult than adopting a child in a Third World country. No matter, I think it would be nice to get Zahara a puppy from her home continent.”

Asked if she planned to acquire a puppy for her adopted four-year-old son Maddox, who was born in Cambodia, Ms. Jolie replied, “We’ve already introduced small amounts of canine meat into his diet, so we might wait until he’s old enough to understand that not all dogs are for eating.”

Ms. Jolie bristled when a reporter asked if she didn’t think it was unusual to feed a child dog meat.

“It’s important for children to eat holistically,” she said. “I suppose you’d also find it odd if I told you that Zahara thrives on locusts and tree bark.”

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