Friday, April 19, 2024
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Arkansas Woman Has 17th Child, Two Are James Brown’s

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LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar welcomed her seventeenth child into the world at 10:01 a.m. Thursday at a Rogers, Arkansas, hospital. Said Jim Bob, a former state representative who now sells real estate, “We are just so grateful to god for another gift of life.”

The Duggars, it turns out, should also be grateful to the late James Brown, the godfather of soul.

When the James Brown Mobile Paternity Laboratory visited Little Rock in June, Michelle Duggar provided hair samples from two of her children on a lark.

“She had took some of the kids to the James Brown Mobile Lab as part of a field trip,” said Michelle Duggar’s best friend, Fannie Jean Stump. “Michelle home schools, and she thought a trip to the bus would be a neat way to work in a science lesson about DNA and all that stuff.”

To her surprise Michelle Duggar was the only woman who hit the bull’s-eye among the 327 females, ranging in age from eighty-one to fifteen, who were tested during the James Brown Mobile Paternity Laboratory’s two-day visit to Little Rock.

Dr. Reginald Bay, a lab technician aboard the James Brown bus, revealed also that as far as he knows only one other woman who was tested on the present leg of the mobile paternity tour—a shower attendant at a truck stop in Lee, Massachusetts—has been able to certify that she produced more than one child by Mr. Brown.

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Mrs. Duggar’s scheduling secretary, Glory B. Hendrickson, said “the boss lady” would have no comment about James Brown, nor would she identify which of her seventeen children were fathered by Mr. Brown.

A close friend of the Duggars said she wasn’t surprised at the James Brown revelation, nor did it make her think any less of Mrs. Duggar.

“Michelle can get pregnant if Jim Bob sneezes near her,” said the friend. “I expect she might of gotten Mr. Brown’s autograph or something and she got pregnant just by contact, you know, or maybe they used one of them co-ed restrooms.”

Jim Bob Duggar, for his part, released a brief statement on the couple’s website, www.livedinashoe.org:

“All children are a gift from god, and we surely love our two little black-and-white milkshakes as much as we love any of our other children, including the two we think might belong to President Clinton.

Tonight on The Discovery Channel: A Look Inside the Grand Canyon    

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