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postcards from the pug bus

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image of a hand gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Postcards the Book

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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Postcards the Website

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We have been at this shit for the better or the worst part of eighteen years. Not many other satire sites can make that brag, humbly or otherwise. Sample an offering from out giant-economy-size box of chocolates below.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

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Author: Chip Hilton

Culture U.S. News 

CDCP Issues Rare Purple Alert Regarding Naked Yoga Breast Feeding

April 22, 2022July 19, 2022 Chip Hilton 3 min read

ATLANTA, Ga.–The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP) has issued a purple alert, its highest consumer warning, over the

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U.S. News 

Local Man Prefers Sex with Plants

April 2, 2022April 22, 2022 Chip Hilton 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Roger Stamen is not shy about declaring his preference in sexual partners. “Plants get me off,” says Mr.

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U.S. News 

AMA Dropping Elitist Foreign Names for Phobias

March 21, 2022May 4, 2022 Chip Hilton 1 min read

CHICAGO—American Medical Association (AMA) board member Deter Camel, MD, MPH, HMFIC, ended weeks of speculation when he announced yesterday that

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U.S. News 

America Rocked by Assault on Capitol Decor

January 13, 2021December 14, 2022 Chip Hilton 1 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—Last Wednesday afternoon a mob of Trump supporters, many of them armed, was roaming about the Senate floor

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U.S. News 

CFA Says Tiger Is Most Popular Cat Password

March 20, 2020December 14, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

ALLIANCE, OH—According to The Cat Fanciers’ Association (CFA), the world’s largest registry of pedigreed cats, the cat name used most

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U.S. News 

Dishing with the HMFIC of National Penultimate Day℠

September 29, 2019April 22, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

Our culture is obsessed with going the extra mile, giving 110 percent, leaving it all on the field. Supermarkets are

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Culture 

SPAM to Introduce Edible Swimwear During Fashion Week

September 21, 2019April 11, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

NEW YORK—Hormel Foods, makers of Spam, announced yesterday that it has added edible swimwear to the ever-growing catalog of novelty

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U.S. News 

Bill Maher, Ann Coulter Sex Video Leaked on Web

April 28, 2019April 22, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Political commentator and steamy, right-wing sex goddess Ann Coulter has never been loath to use her

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Sporting Life 

Gay Rights Group Slams Half-Time Engagement

December 14, 2016April 11, 2022 Chip Hilton 1 min read

CHICAGO—Born That Way, a militant, self-described “queer rights” group, condemned the recent engagement of two fellows named Michael and Jake

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Sporting Life 

Mike Ditka Is the New Face of Lane Bryant             

January 25, 2016May 4, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

CHICAGO—In a move certain to raise eyebrows if not hem lines, Lane Bryant is set to introduce former Chicago Bears

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Culture 

NCTE Outraged over Time’s Choice of the Clitoris as Person of the Year

November 16, 2015May 4, 2022 Chip Hilton 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C.–The National Council for Transgender Equality (NCTE) charged today that Time magazine’s choice of the clitoris as its 2015 Person of

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Technology 

New iPad 5 Will Introduce Fading Keypad Letters

October 11, 2013December 25, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

CUPERTINO, Ca.–The big whisper from the Apple campus here in Cupertino is that Apple’s new iPad 5 and iPad Mimi

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World News 

NSA Instrumental in Busting Thai Gang Selling Fake Elephant IDs

August 21, 2013April 22, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

BANGKOK(AP)– The National Security Agency (NSA) is claiming to have played “a major role” in helping police in Thailand to

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World News 

Obama Unfriends Putin on Facebook, International Crisis Looms

August 8, 2013May 4, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Pug Bus learned overnight that President Barack Obama has unfriended Russian president Vladimir Putin on Facebook in

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Music 

Taylor Swift Placed Under Suicide Watch (Breaking News)

July 27, 2013April 11, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

READING, Pa.–Taylor Swift has been placed under a suicide watch by concerned members of her entourage, the Pug Bus learned

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The Pug Bus Blogs On

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Our fearless editor in briefs, who turns eighty in January, holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his issues with soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

The Book of Daze℠

image of an old-fashion pinup calendar

Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
There's a Saint for That

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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
The Pug Bus Pop Quiz

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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. No penalties for wrong answers. How postmodern is that? Find out how much you do know about popular culture and other trivialities."

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way God made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says, "You can't photoshop this."

The Grammar Prick

the grammar prick pointing

Meaner than a 250-pound female Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate Enter at your own risk.

The Pug Bus Interviews

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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at 'em when you're speaking to 'em. Read on . . .

The Fuck It List

mushroom cloud from an atomic bomb explosion

Ten Things You Should Quit Doing While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat belts
  4. Going to bed early
  5. Paying for music, books, or movies
  6. Apologizing
  7. Pissing indoors all the time
  8. Picking up the tab
  9. Stupid-ass, old-fart hats
10. Bathing or showering regularly

Meet Our Staff

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Before meeting our staff, you must verify that you are at least thirteen years of age mentally if not emotionally. If you can click the link below, we will assume you are legally qualified to meet our staff. Please do not approach them while they're sleeping. The link below

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Parental Controls Fail: Porn, Stupid TV, Cooking Shows Still Dominate

April 29, 2022July 18, 2022 philmaggitti 2 min read

Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at About 150

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It’s the THC, Stupid

March 20, 2022April 20, 2022 philmaggitti 2 min read

PETA Warns Against Having Sex in Front of Your Pets

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Carron J. Phillips of Deadspin is the Asshat of the Moment

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National Amuse-bouche Day

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High Times Declares Five Strains of Cannabis Extinct

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Editor’s Picks

Pug Bus Site Down but Not Because of Hack

May 11, 2005April 7, 2022 philmaggitti 3 min read

Keanu Reeves Can’t Believe Diane Keaton Is 59

August 26, 2005April 25, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

WikiLeaks Reveals Identity of Time’s Person of the Year

December 6, 2016April 22, 2022 philmaggitti 1 min read

Joe Paterno Diagnosed with Cancer, Penn State Students Riot

November 19, 2011March 31, 2022 philmaggitti 2 min read

President Bush to Withdraw Serial Comma

December 4, 2005April 29, 2022 philmaggitti 3 min read

NBA To Offer Autistic-Only Bathrooms for 2017 All-Star Game

April 26, 2016March 26, 2022 philmaggitti 1 min read

Tom Cruise Pitching Brokeback Mountain Prequel

December 11, 2005May 7, 2022 Chip Hilton 2 min read

Porsche Denies Plans to Release Nikki Catsouras Model

December 15, 2007April 18, 2022 Biff Scuzzy 2 min read
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