Chip Hilton – Page 2 – postcards from the pug bus

Sex Scandal Rocks Christian Mingle: Breaking News

Chip Hilton 253 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa. – The massively popular dating site Christian Mingle has been rocked by a sex scandal. “Threesomes, foursomes, pedophilia, bestiality, anal sex, cock fingering, scat play, you name it and apparently ‘God will … Read on

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Prince Harry, Chelsy Davy Breakup Quiz

Chip Hilton 246 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Royal watchers have been off their HP Sauce since British tabloids began reporting over the weekend that Prince Harry and his current amuse-bouche, Chelsy Davy, have come a cropper—or cropped a … Read on

Culture

Facebook Considering Fuckbook Spinoff

Chip Hilton 259 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Surprised by some users’ reactions to the pornographic and violent images that appeared on Facebook recently, officials at the site are considering an adults-only version of Facebook, tentatively called Fuckbook.

“To … Read on

Sporting Life

Tim Lincecum Blames His Dog, Others for Trashing Townhouse

Chip Hilton 249 Views 2 min read

SAN FRANCISCO – Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum blames his dog, Cy, and others for the damage caused to a townhouse formerly occupied by Mr. Lincecum in San Francisco’s Mission District. In a disjointed phone call … Read on

Celebrities

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Mounting Remake of Don Quixote

Chip Hilton 267 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – In conjunction with what would have been Miguel de Cervantes’ 464th birthday, Tom Cruise has scheduled a press conference for this afternoon. Sources close to Mr. Cruise claim he will announce that work … Read on

News

Bush Surprised by Visit to Iraq, Thought He Was in Texas

Chip Hilton 268 Views 2 min read

AL-ASAD AIR BASE, Iraq – President Bush made a surprise visit to the Al Asad Air Base in the Anbar province of Iraq Monday morning.

“Shit yeah, it was a surprise all right,” said a … Read on

News

Moammar Gadhafi Obsessed with Condoleeza Rice

Chip Hilton 261 Views 2 min read

TRIPOLI, Libya – The scene inside Moammar Gadhafi’s man cave in his Bab al-Aziziya compound looked like the centerfold of Beggar’s Banquet, only worse. Rebel soldiers, having discovered Mr. Gadhafi’s collection of adult toys, … Read on

Celebrities

The Real Reason Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend Split

Chip Hilton 197 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Nearly four years ago Charlize Theron told members of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) that she would not get married until gay marriage is legal in the United States.… Read on

Celebrities

Charlie Sheen Questioned about His Missing Mercedes

Chip Hilton 249 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Actor Charlie Sheen is “a person of interest” in the brutal attack on his Mercedes-Benz, according to Los Angeles police. The 2009 Mercedes, a four-door black sedan, was found on its roof … Read on

Celebrities

Tila Tequila Shuts Down Her Twitter Account

Chip Hilton 236 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – Reality television star Tila Tequila has canceled her Twitter account after telling her 309,980 followers that “Twitter is full of nothing but the most hateful devil worshippers, terrorists, racists, and fat people … Read on

News

Police Searching for Stolen Breast Implants

Chip Hilton 255 Views 1 min read

PENNSAUKEN, N.J. – Police are searching for a pair of 38-D breast implants obtained under false pretenses earlier this month. The breasts were lifted from the Route 70 Center for Plastic Surgery by a thirty-year-old, … Read on

Technology

Scientists Clone Monkey from Courtney Love Cells

Chip Hilton 258 Views 2 min read

PORTLAND, Ore. – Researchers at Oregon Health and Science University have manipulated the DNA of skin cells obtained from Courtney Love to create monkey embryos from which stem cells were extracted three days later.

This … Read on

Celebrities

Jennifer Lopez Starts Pet Advice Column

Chip Hilton 271 Views 5 min read

LOS ANGELES – Jennifer Lopez’ introduction of a high-end line of designer accessories for pets demonstrated her commitment to the animal-welfare movement. That concern is further demonstrated by Lopez’ newest animal-related enterprise—an advice column for … Read on

Culture

Gwyneth Paltrow Sucks in Fellatio, the Lost Shakespeare Comedy

Chip Hilton 245 Views 2 min read

PHILADELPHIA – Gwyneth Paltrow’s halting performance in Fellatio, the Lost Shakespeare Comedy, proves that Aristotle knew what he was talking about when he said, “One swallow does not make a summer.”

Ms. Paltrow, 36, … Read on

Celebrities

Chris Brown Bobblehead Doll Attacks Paris Hilton Doll

Chip Hilton 249 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – Police announced yesterday that they were seeking a Chris Brown bobblehead doll for questioning in connection with an alleged attack on a Paris Hilton bobblehead doll that occurred in a closet in … Read on