WEST CHESTER, PA—Black Lives Matter (BLM) plans to interrupt tail-gaiting parties at several NFL games this afternoon to protest the celebration of National White Chocolate Day, observed each year on September 22. BLM Minister of Information Rashieel Watson-Korengi told Postcards from the Pug Bus that the protests were long overdue.
“Crackers been celebrating that white chocolate day shit right under our noses for years,” said Mr. Watson-Korengi. “This year enough’s enough. Shit isn’t even real chocolate, anyway.”
National White Chocolate Day is officially recognized by the National Day Calendar group even though the organization, which has been labeled a hate group by some progressives, candidly admits on its website that it “continues searching for the source behind this sweet candy holiday.”
Mr. Watson-Korengi notes that until “the white power structure reveals the truth about white chocolate’s privilege and the source of the National White Chocolate Day celebration, all our brothers should boycott this white devil’s chocolate.”
In related news: Nike denies that it was planning to release an all-white sneaker to commemorate National White Chocolate Day until social justice warrior and retired football player Colin Kaepernick attacked its racist history.
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