Thursday, April 18, 2024
Music

Brad Delp Memorialized by Burger King

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NEW YORK – Former Boston singer Brad Delp will be honored by the Burger King corporation, a company spokesman said yesterday. Bill Pitt, regional manager for Burger King’s New England stores, said the company made the decision following reports that Mr. Delp had died from carbon monoxide poisoning “after shutting himself inside a bathroom with two charcoal grills.”

“Although Brad professed to be a vegetarian,” said Mr. Pitt, “he had a soft spot for burgers, as most vegetarians do—even PETA members.

“In fact, Brad was a frequent customer at the six conveniently located Burger King stores within a ten-mile radius of his home (in Atkinson, New Hampshire). He used the drive-in window to avoid being recognized by fans of Beatlejuice, the Beatles tribute band in which he sang.”

Describing Mr. Delp as “the kindest man who ever came through our drive-in windows,” Mr. Pitt said that Burger King was renaming its popular Stacker™ after the late singer.

“That product will now be known as The Bradster™,” said Mr. Pitt. “It was his favorite.”

According to the Burger King website, The Bradster™ comprises “double, triple, or quadruple layers of beef and cheese—topped with bacon and sauce . . . boasting a flame-broiled stack of meaty goodness, and it’s here to stay—no veggies allowed.”

 “We used to laugh that we could tell how Brad was feeling by the kind of Stacker™, I mean Bradster™, he ordered,” said Mr. Pitt. “If he ordered the quadruple, he was really jonesing; the double, not so much.

“I was just talking to the night manager of our Haverill, Massachusetts, store, which is only 2.9 miles from Brad’s former home. The manager told me that Brad was in for a quadruple around 8:30 the night he died. Brad said his fiancee was out for the night, so he wouldn’t have to eat this one in his truck on the way home. That’s just the kind of thoughtful, down-to-earth guy he was.”

In related news, the Kingsford company, makers of the world’s most popular charcoal, has recalled 100,000 bags of its fire-groove, quick-start charcoal from New England-area stores in order to place more prominent “for outdoor use only” warnings on its packaging.    

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