Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at About 150
WEST CHESTER, PA—The civilized world was staggered yesterday by Jesus’ off-hand remark that there are roughly 150 people in heaven.
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Did God Write Other Books Besides The Bible?
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Like J.K. Rowling, who has not stopped writing since finishing the Harry Potter series, God may not have
ContinueTop Ten Reasons Cats Aren’t Mentioned in the Bible
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in
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WEST CHESTER,Pa.—Atheism is the quickest-growing non-religion in the United States. To celebrate this encouraging development, we introduced recently an occasional
ContinueGod Drops Carson Wentz from Fantasy Team
WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God Almighty is more than a little miffed by Carson Wentz’ three-pick performance in the Eagles 48-7
ContinueGod Throws Shade on Rainbow Bridge Myth
HEAVEN – Pet owners took one in the shorts today when The Lord God Almighty issued a press release in
ContinueFacebook Presents the Twelve Genders of Christmas
WEST CHESTER, PA—Facebook is a festering boil on the right butt cheek of humanity, largely because Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg
ContinueGod Says He Never Saw This Election Coming
The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy
ContinueWhat Did Pope Francis Know and When Did He Know I
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Since finding out last week that Pope Francis, “the cool pope,” had met secretly with Kim Davis in Washington,
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—His Supreme Excellency Pope Francis—in addition to meeting with the Harlem Globe Trotters, Vice-President “Meadowlark” Biden (who presented him
ContinueGod Is Only Ninth in Fantasy Football League
WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God of Hosts is more than a little frustrated by his ninth-place standing in the twelve-team Wilmington,
ContinueGod “Sick and Tired of Being Everybody’s Damn Witness”
HEAVEN–The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say “as god is
ContinuePope Francis OK with Miley Cyrus Remark
VATICAN CITY–Pope Francis told the website Hunger TV that people should not be so quick to condemn Miley Cyrus for
ContinueChinese Altar Breads Flooding American Market
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The ultra-competitive altar bread market has been thrown into a cocked miter by the emergence of Chinese players
ContinuePope Francis Reveals Plans to Celebrate Halloween This Year
VATICAN CITY–In yet another move that Catholics are applauding the world over, Pope Francis I announced yesterday that he plans
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