Dab Rig Manufacturer Issues Refunds for Kaepernick Model
SAN FRANCISCO—Rigs-R-Us, the nation’s leading manufacturer of “smoking enhancement technology for the socially conscious,” offered refunds today to any customers
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God Drops Carson Wentz from Fantasy Team
WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God Almighty is more than a little miffed by Carson Wentz’ three-pick performance in the Eagles 48-7
ContinueO.J. Simpson Arrest Exclusive: Top Ten Reasons If He Did It
LAS VEGAS – O.J. Simpson, claiming that he is “really innocent this time,” was booked Sunday evening on two counts
ContinueGay Rights Group Slams Half-Time Engagement
CHICAGO—Born That Way, a militant, self-described “queer rights” group, condemned the recent engagement of two fellows named Michael and Jake
ContinueBLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday
NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter (BLM) has demanded that New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning apologize to Dallas Cowboys black quarterback
ContinueDuke University Lacrosse Team Reinstated After Counseling
DURHAM, N.C. – Duke University’s men’s lacrosse team has been reinstated after team members found to be deficient in language
ContinueNBA To Offer Autistic-Only Bathrooms for 2017 All-Star Game
NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association (NBA), bowing to pressure from the radical autism-rights group Autism Speaks (AS), has promised to
ContinueColdplay Criticized for Lily White Super Bowl Message
NEW YORK—British musical act Coldplay may have graciously yielded the stage at the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show to Bruno
ContinueCharlotte Rampling Says Fuss Over Cam Newton Is Racist to White QBs
CANCUN—Oscar nominee Charlotte Rampling said yesterday that “all this codswallop” about Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, who is African American,
ContinueMike Ditka Is the New Face of Lane Bryant
CHICAGO—In a move certain to raise eyebrows if not hem lines, Lane Bryant is set to introduce former Chicago Bears
ContinueNFL to Install 200 Gender-Appropriate Bathrooms for Super Bowl LI
HOUSTON–The National Football League promises that Super Bowl LI, scheduled to be played in Houston on February 5, 2017, will
ContinueTom Brady’s Head Deflates at Press Conference
As Tom Brady denied any wrongdoing in the illegal deflation of the footballs used by his New England Patriots in
ContinueGod Is Only Ninth in Fantasy Football League
WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God of Hosts is more than a little frustrated by his ninth-place standing in the twelve-team Wilmington,
ContinueWNBA Finals Will Proceed Despite Government Shutdown
NEW YORK–Proving once again that it is capable of meeting any challenge, the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) announced today
ContinueAllen Iverson Set to Return to the NBA as Philadelphia 76ers Mascot
PHILADELPHIA–Allen Iverson, an eleven-time all-star who has not played in the National Basketball Association (NBA) since 2010, is set to
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