HOLLYWOOD – The long-awaited new Indiana Jones movie will not be called Indiana Jones and the Colonoscopy of Doom, despite Harrison Ford’s stumping on behalf of that title.
Shia LaBeouf told reporters at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas last night that the next installment in the popular Indiana Jones series will be called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
“The security around the movie’s title has been tighter than a ten-year-old,” said Mr. LaBeouf.
Nevertheless, Them Weekly has learned the identity of the other titles that had been under consideration:
Raiders of the Lost Stool Softener
Indiana Jones and the Priapism from Hell
Indiana Jones and the Assisted Living Crusade
Indiana Jones Oversleeps Again
Indiana Jones Finds Treasure in His Depends
Indiana Jones and the Segway Disaster
Indiana Jones and the Senior Citizen Cruise
Indiana Jones and the Lost Grecian Formula.
In other news, Jack Nicholson is rumored to be in talks with UnitedArtists about a sequel to Easy Rider entitled Easy Does It.
As Mr. Nicholson’s character in Easy Rider, alcoholic ACLU lawyer George Hanson, was killed in the original film, Mr. Nicholson will play his twin brother, Harry, in the sequel.
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren’t looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.
