Jude Law Apologies for Seducing the Nanny

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LONDON – A distraught and groveling Jude Law apologized publicly to his fiancee, actress Sienna Miller, after she had read a newspaper article claiming that Law “was having it away” with his children’s nanny.

According to London’s tabloid conscience, The Sun, Law, 32, e-mailed an apology to “every major newspaper in Britain and to the secretaries of several garden societies as well.” In the apology Law said he “deeply regretted and was profoundly ashamed of his lustful encounters” with Daisy Wright, 26, who had worked until recently as the nanny to Law’s three children by his former wife, Sadie Frost.

Miller, 23, who is appearing in “As You Like It” in London’s West End, told friends that when she phoned Law to confront him about the affair, he blamed her for his behavior, whining that she was not devoted enough to him and that she was more interested in her career than she was in him.

“Rather than being guilty and contrite, he tried to turn the whole thing against Sienna,” said a friend of the couple. “It was only when she told him to sod off that he went public with that bogus apology.”

Law began his affair with Wright in New Orleans, when he was on location there filming All The King’s Men in March. According to The Sun, the “dodgy business with Wright” was uncovered when one of Law’s children told Frost that ‘Daddy was naked with Daisy rubbing her bum.'”

        Although Law called the child “a rotten liar,” Frost sacked Wright, who claims that Law was on the phone the following day, begging her to see him again.

Law met and began dating Sienna Miller while he was filming last year’s remake of the 1960s classic Alfie. Their affair began when Law was still married to Frost, from whom he was granted a “quickie” divorce last October, after six years of marriage, on the grounds of Law’s “unreasonable behavior.”

Reaction to Law’s sniveling apology was swift and mocking.

“He came across as a bit of a wet,” said Hugh Grant, who was once arrested on Los Angeles’ Sunset Strip for soliciting oral sex from a Hollywood hooker calling herself Divine Brown. “Whatever became of the concept of the stiff upper lip?”

“What a [pussy],” sneered Colin Firth. “He’s going to take a drubbing over this. Serves the bastard right. He ought to just mail her (Miller) his testicles.”

In related news, Law also apologized to his ex-wife Sadie Frost, for nagging her into taking part in wife-swapping sessions with their friends Danny Goffey and Pearl Lowe, and to his parents, for “the time you caught me [abusing myself] in your bed.”

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