Today is National Just Because Day, an opportunity “to do something without rhyme or reason,” according to the folks at National Day Calendar, who suggest we celebrate by getting that outfit we’ve been admiring at the mall or using a vacation day to go fishing or singing at the top of our lungs while driving with the windows rolled down—all in the raucous spirit of letting you goddamn freak flag fly.
Here at the Pug Bus every fucking day is National Just Because Day. Unlike the dimwads at National Day Calendar, we never “do things that are expected or required of us”; and much like Marshall Crenshaw we “never bother with the usual things.” We lean to counter programming, and so should you. Therefore, instead of surprising someone with flowers or giving a fake name at Starbucks, here are ten righteous ways to celebrate National Just Because Day.
I. Tell that person at work whom you never could stand what a dick he (or she) is, just because.
II. Leave the toilet seat up, just because.
III. Set fire to your neighbor’s twee, pretentious gazebo, just because.
IV. Shave your head, just because.
V. Give somebody head, just because.
VI. Run the last three stop signs before you get to your house, just because.
VII. Wear a “Basket of Deplorables” T-shirt to a vegan restaurant, just because.
VIII. Give a stranger the finger, just because.
IX. Go out to your mailbox naked, just because.
X. Pull the fire alarm in a posh, high-rise apartment, just because. (Extra credit for chaining any of the exits shut.)
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