Neo-Nazi Richard B. Spencer to Grace GQ Cover

an image

NEW YORK—Richard B. Spencer, who has been called the Golden Boy of the Alt-Right, will adorn the cover of GQ’s February 2017 (Valentine Day) issue. The handsome, natty, and oh-so-controversial Mr. Spencer, who seeks to spread the gospel of white nationalism, is already spreading the gospel that “Neo-Nazis” are a far cry sartorially from their goose-stepping, jack-booted, Sieg-Heil-saluting forebears.

“We chose Richard not so much for his political views—because everybody is soooo tired of ‘politics’ these days—but for his timeless, dare we say ‘classical,’ sense of style,” said GQ style fashion editor Mobolaji Dawodu.

Mother Jones, the Los Angeles Times, and others seemed to agree. MJ described Mr. Spencer thusly, “An articulate and well-dressed former football player with prom-king good looks and a ‘fashy’ (as in fascism) haircut—long on top, buzzed on the sides—Spencer has managed to seize on an extraordinary presidential election to give overt racism a new veneer of radical chic.”

Not surprisingly, GQ‘s announcement has drawn the agitated contempt of some Birkenstock babies on the Left, which accuses GQ, among other things, of “normalizing white nationalism.”

an image

“Spencer’s goal is to bring the racist ideology of white nationalism—the political idea that America should be fortified as a white nation—into the mainstream by dressing up typically abhorrent ideas in a suit and tie and selling it [sic] as serious discourse.”

So sputtered Jack Smith IV. who writes about “technology and inequality “(we’re not making that up) on (Seriously, could Mr. Smith’s parents et al. not come up with a different name in three generations? One Jack Smith is enough for any family in fifty generations.)

Meanwhile, at his National Policy Institute in Arlington, Virginia, Mr. Spencer, who smells as good as he looks, told this reporter, “Sex appeal and white nationalism are not strange bedfellows. Coco Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior—all were great fans of the Third Reich. So was [menswear designer] Hugo Boss, who made his bones creating uniforms for Nazi youth. Looking fly has always been a priority among our people.”

To paraphrase Mr. Spencer’s remarks in D.C. a few weeks ago: Hail Richard. Hail fashion. Hail victory. (That last translates to a naughty Sieg Heil in Deutsch.)

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren’t looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.