MALIBU – What sort of cad keeps on walking when his skeletally thin girlfriend is nearly blown down by a puff of wind? Brody Jenner, that’s what kind. As these non-exclusive images show, Nicole and Brody were on their way to the gym when Nicole nearly took a header. Fortunately a paparazzo with a cam corder happened to be in the vicinity.
NR: Wait, Brody, wait. I’m falling.
BJ: Yeah. Yeah. Let me guess. You’re lighter than air, right? Give it a rest, Nicole.
NR: No. I’m serious, Brody. I lost 14 ounces of impacted fecal matter during my high colonic yesterday, and just now I felt like I was being blown over.
BJ: Don’t be a drama queen. There isn’t enough wind today to blow a match out. Are you sure you weren’t about to faint again?
NR: No. I wasn’t fainting. I think I was weighed down by this bag.
BJ: Nicole! The f*ck*ing bag’s empty except for your laxatives. Since you stopped having periods you don’t even carry Tampax in there.
NR: What about the car keys? Maybe it was the extra weight of the car keys in the bag. And there might be a no-cal fiber bar wrapper in there.
BJ: Did you ever stop to think it might be the shoes? You know you have trouble walking in aything trickier than flip flops. And who wears high heels with shorts anyway?
NR: Oh yeah? Who wears Pink Floyd T-shirts? They’re like so 1962.
BJ: Nineteen-seventy-two, for your information.
NR: Well touch you, Prince of Malibu.
BJ: Better not. You might break a bone in your wrist. That’s if you can lift your arm in that long-sleeve top.
NR: You should be nice to me, Brody. I’m just starting to do research for my next novel.
BJ: I didn’t know you had finished reading the first one. Who’s writing this one for you?
NR: Very funny. Do you think my legs make my head look big?
BJ: I think I’m going to get you a walker for Christmas. If you’re still alive by then.
NR: If you’re still around by then. At the rate you’re going, you won’t last any longer than your show did.
BJ: Yo . . .
NR: Anyway, by Christmas I’ll weigh less than Dakota Fanning, and nobody will be able to resist me. Then you’ll be sorry you ever called me fat. Hurry. I don’t want to be late for the gym.
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