Parental Controls Fail: Porn, Stupid TV, Cooking Shows Still Dominate
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Despite their widespread use, parental controls have been a disappointment as a means of empowering children to
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Did God Write Other Books Besides The Bible?
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Like J.K. Rowling, who has not stopped writing since finishing the Harry Potter series, God may not have stopped
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CDCP Issues Rare Purple Alert Regarding Naked Yoga Breast Feeding
ATLANTA, Ga.–The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP) has issued a purple alert, its highest consumer warning, over the spread
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Portly Singles Kicked Off BeautifulPeople.com Launch PrettyFaces.com
BOSTON, Mass. – Portly singles kicked off the elite dating site BeautifulPeople.com, the self-proclaimed “sexiest website in the world today,” are
ContinueA Barrel of Laughs at the Gastroenterology Office: You Can’t Photoshop This
WEST GOSHEN, Pa.—When was the last time you had a good laugh in the gastroenterology office? A really good laugh, not some tight-ass
ContinueLeaked Memo Reveals New Dummies Offerings
HOBOKEN, N.J. – John Wiley & Sons, publishers of the gratingly familiar black-and-yellow Dummies books, has sold more than 200 million
Continue5 Easy Hacks for Improving Your Karma This Summer
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Contrary to popular opinion–and to the creators of My Name Is Earl–karma is not about payback, nor is
ContinueNew Study Suggests: Obesity Is Weighing Down the Human Soul
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa–A new study published in Applied Psychological Measurement suggests that the obesity epidemic has begun to make quantifiable inroads on
ContinueThe Grammar Prick Dares You to Take This Pronoun Test
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – This morning I read the following sentence on a blog: “Anyone who thinks that having a child
ContinueConsumer Reports Issues First Rating of Patron Saints
YONKERS, N.Y.-–The June digital issue of Consumer Reports magazine will contain the venerable product tester’s first-ever rating of patron saints. The long-awaited rating
ContinueProstate Cancer Seen As Major Cause of Prostate Cancer Deaths
LONDON – A study has determined that men who are diagnosed with prostate cancer are nearly twenty-five times as likely to
ContinuePostcards from the Pug Bus Declares Itself a Sanctuary Website
WEST CHESTER, PA—I am proud to announce this morning that Postcards from the Pug Bus, the alt-right’s favorite satire site, is
ContinueLocal Man Prefers Sex with Plants
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Roger Stamen is not shy about declaring his preference in sexual partners. “Plants get me off,” says Mr. Stamen,
ContinueNational Screw the Pooch Day, Why Dogs Despise It℠
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–”Screw the pooch”—short for “fuck the dog”— is an expression made popular in Tom Wolfe’s 1979 book about
ContinueAtheist Scores Exclusive Interview with the Historical Jesus
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Although we hold no brief with invisible friends in the sky—not the nine choirs of angels, the eight maids
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