Leaked Memo Reveals New Dummies Offerings
HOBOKEN, N.J. – John Wiley & Sons, publishers of the gratingly familiar black-and-yellow Dummies books, has sold more than 200
ContinueHow to Tell You Were Masturbating to Bad Porn
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Jesus once said, “The porn you will always have with you.” He was right. In fact, porn is
Continue5 Easy Hacks for Improving Your Karma This Summer
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Contrary to popular opinion–and to the creators of My Name Is Earl–karma is not about payback, nor
ContinueNew Study Suggests: Obesity Is Weighing Down the Human Soul
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa–A new study published in Applied Psychological Measurement suggests that the obesity epidemic has begun to make quantifiable inroads
ContinueThe Grammar Prick Dares You to Take This Pronoun Test
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – This morning I read the following sentence on a blog: “Anyone who thinks that having a
ContinueConsumer Reports Issues First Rating of Patron Saints
YONKERS, N.Y.-–The June digital issue of Consumer Reports magazine will contain the venerable product tester’s first-ever rating of patron saints. The long-awaited
ContinueProstate Cancer Seen As Major Cause of Prostate Cancer Deaths
LONDON – A study has determined that men who are diagnosed with prostate cancer are nearly twenty-five times as likely
ContinuePostcards from the Pug Bus Declares Itself a Sanctuary Website
WEST CHESTER, PA—I am proud to announce this morning that Postcards from the Pug Bus, the alt-right’s favorite satire site,
ContinueLocal Man Prefers Sex with Plants
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Roger Stamen is not shy about declaring his preference in sexual partners. “Plants get me off,” says Mr.
ContinueNational Screw the Pooch Day, Why Dogs Despise It℠
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–”Screw the pooch”—short for “fuck the dog”— is an expression made popular in Tom Wolfe’s 1979 book
ContinueAtheist Scores Exclusive Interview with the Historical Jesus
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Although we hold no brief with invisible friends in the sky—not the nine choirs of angels, the eight
ContinueYour Horoscope Is Determined By Your Car
Gemstones, colors, and planetary alignment are the traditional ingredients in the astrological stew. Unfortunately they emphasize nature to the exclusion
ContinueThe Sacred Paraphernalia of the Zodiac
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Everybody knows that different gemstones, power phrases, colors, handshakes, and non-GMO crystals are associated with the various signs
ContinueHow to Understand the Tao Te Ching Without Actually Reading It
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Tao Te Ching, a book of ancient Chinese wisdom, is roughly 2,500 years old, but nobody has
ContinueTop Ten Reasons Cats Aren’t Mentioned in the Bible
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in
Continue