Paul McCartney’s Top 10 Signs Your Wife’s a One-Legged Hooker

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LONDON – Paul McCartney told the News of the World that he realizes now he should have seen the signs that Heather Mills, his estranged wife, had been a call girl before she married him.

Mr. McCartney, 63, said he was caught with his pants up by revelations that when Heather was in her twenties, she had sex for hire with arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi, who paid her more than $11,000 for her services. Heather also charged a Saudi prince $9,000 to join him and another woman in a three-way.

“The signs were there all the time,” said Mr. McCartney. “I was just too much in love to read them.”

Among the many indications that Heather, 38, had been a play-for-pay girl, Mr. McCartney listed the following as the top ten.

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10. Edible prosthetic leg came from Victoria’s Secret.

9. Private phone number engraved on lavatory walls of VIP lounges in airports.

8. England’s World Cup team carried her off the field in effigy after a recent victory.

7. Retired prosthetic leg was signed by Duran Duran and Simply Red.

6. Woman in a popular series of hardcore sex manuals looks exactly like her.

5. She asked him to sign a prenup.

4. Knows the names of all the positions in the Kama Sutra.

3. All her prosthetic legs are double jointed.

2. The prime minister’s cabinet still sends her a Christmas card.

1. Bought a luxury villa with her frequent flier miles.    

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