November, 2007 - postcards from the pug bus

Clay Aiken Birthday Quiz, Exclusive

Biff Scuzzy 161 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Clay Aiken, who rode a second-place finish on American Idol and a don’t-ask-don’t-tell sexuality to fame, fortune, and speculation, is twenty-nine today. The artist formerly known as Clayton Holmes Grissom will … Read on

Music

Amy Winehouse Cancels All Personal Hygiene Activities

philmaggitti 179 Views 2 min read

LONDON – Singer Amy Winehouse, 24, has announced that she is canceling all personal hygiene activities—even down to having her beehive steam cleaned—until her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is released from London’s Pentonville prison.

Reading from … Read on

Sporting Life

All NFL Players Will Wear Sean Taylor’s Number

philmaggitti 146 Views 1 min read

NEW YORK – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall announced today that all NFL players will wear slain Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor’s number on their jerseys in place of their own numbers for the remainder of … Read on

Sporting Life

McNabb Out of Patriots Game, Spread Falls to Sixteen

Biff Scuzzy 160 Views 1 min read

PHILADELPHIA – Las Vegas oddsmakers have reacted to the news that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb will miss tomorrow night’s game against the undefeated New England patriots by dropping the spread on the game from … Read on

Celebrities

Vanessa Hudgens Launches Sex Video Hotline

Chip Hilton 157 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Now that High School Musical 3 is scheduled to begin filming next Valentine’s Day, Vanessa Hudgens, 18, has decided to put paid once and for all to the continuous rumors about the dozens … Read on

Culture

Rachael Ray Sex Videos, the Director’s Cuts, Available Friday

philmaggitti 171 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – The long-awaited director’s cuts of the Rachael Ray sex videos, “Thirty-Minute Ménages” and “Rachael Ray for $40 a Day,” will be available this Friday. These never-before-released, artisanal creations, packaged in a black-truffle-scented, … Read on

News

Salvation Army Surge Begins on Black Friday

Biff Scuzzy 170 Views 2 min read

… Read on

News

President Bush Will Pardon Thanksgiving Tofurky

philmaggitti 196 Views 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush will pardon the National Thanksgiving Tofurky in a ceremony to be televised tomorrow from the White House lawn.

By pardoning the tofurky—which is made from a blend of … Read on

News

Wolf Blitzer Found Beaten After Presidential Debate

Biff Scuzzy 175 Views 2 min read

LAS VEGAS—CNN veteran newsman Wolf Blitzer was found bloody, naked, and unconscious in his dressing room last night following the Democratic presidential candidates’ debate at the University of Nevada.

The grizzled, heavly tattooed Mr. Blitzer, … Read on

Celebrities

Boy George Accused of Foolish Imprisonment

Biff Scuzzy 174 Views 3 min read

LONDON – Pop swinger Boy George was charged with foolish imprisonment, careless whispers, and reckless misapplication of foodstuffs today. The legal action was brought as a result of a complaint lodged against Mr. George by … Read on

News

Conan O’Brien Stalker Reassigned by Vatican

philmaggitti 180 Views 2 min read

BOSTON – David Ajemian, the Roman Catholic priest who was arrested last week in New York for allegedly stalking Conan O’Brien, has been reassigned to the Vatican, a papal spokesman announced today.

The Reverend Ajemian, … Read on