Month: December 2007

Celebrities

Jamie Lynn Spears Home Pregnancy Test on eBay

BUMFUCH, La. – The Jamie Lynn Spears’ home pregnancy test that was run up the eBay flagpole on Wednesday might be run back down before it’s had a chance to spread its wings. Listed on eBay’s wildly popular White Trash Souvenirs and Geegaws section, the test was found—according to its… Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Hires Illegal Alien Frappuccino Caddy

MALIBU – Britney Spears has hired a full-time Frappuccino caddy in an effort to convince California child welfare authorities that she is serious about regaining custody of her sons, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1. Unfortunately, the star of Chaotic may have hired an illegal alien. According to documents obtained by THEM… Read More

News

Porsche Denies Plans to Release Nikki Catsouras Model

ATLANTA – A spokesman for Porsche Cars North America denies that his company has “any plans whatsoever” to introduce a limited edition Nikki Catsouras 911 Carrera model. “This [rumor] is vile and detestable,” said Dieter von Richthofen, director of public information for Porsche (porsh-uh). “I don’t know how this kind… Read More

Culture

RIAA Wants Record Labels to Limit Home CD Use

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has fingered consumers who play CDs repeatedly as “the single greatest secret threat” to recording industry profits. The industry watchdog group is suggesting, therefore, that record labels take steps to limit the number of times a CD can be played… Read More

Technology

Angelina Jolie Computer Virus Poised to Strike

REDMOND, Wash. – The Angelina Jolie virus, a new and potentially smothering computer virus, is set to strike computers around the world on Friday. Popularly known as the Black Mother Widow (BMW) virus, this dangerous scourge is thought to be the work of an Amsterdam-based group of hackers that calls… Read More