March 2009 – postcards from the pug bus

Three Second Rule Extended During Recession

philmaggitti 193 Views 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The federal three-second guideline, which warns anyone against picking up food and eating it more than three seconds after it has been dropped, will be extended to six seconds for the remainder … Read on

Religion

Microsoft Acquires Christian Software Firm

philmaggitti 191 Views 3 min read

REDMOND – Wash. – Microsoft’s CEO Bill Gates announced yesterday that his company had acquired Endtimes! Software, the leading Christian software producer in Alabama. Endtimes!, “the inspired binary word of the Lord,” is headquartered in … Read on

Culture

Gwyneth Paltrow Sucks in Fellatio, the Lost Shakespeare Comedy

Chip Hilton 201 Views 2 min read

PHILADELPHIA – Gwyneth Paltrow’s halting performance in Fellatio, the Lost Shakespeare Comedy, proves that Aristotle knew what he was talking about when he said, “One swallow does not make a summer.”

Ms. Paltrow, 36, … Read on