January, 2010 - postcards from the pug bus

Food Network Announces Iron Chef Cannibalism Series

Biff Scuzzy 177 Views 1 min read

NEW YORK – Despite the success of the The Next Iron Chef last year, the Food Network is in danger of being pushed to near-campy irrelevance—the worst kind of irrelevance there is— by the Travel … Read on

Music

Van Morrison Files for Intellectual Bankruptcy

philmaggitti 192 Views 3 min read

DUBLIN – Irish singer and curmudgeon Van Morrison has filed for intellectual bankruptcy, according to a notice published on his official website—The Gospel According to St. Van.

The famously gruff singer-songwriter informed his fans that … Read on

News

SpaghettiOs Creator, Donald Goerke, Chokes to Death, Uh-Oh

philmaggitti 179 Views 2 min read

CAMDEN, N.J. – Donald Goerke, the man who put the “Oh” in SpaghettiOs, choked to death Sunday night while eating his customary bedtime snack of SpaghettiOs and chocolate milk. He was eighty-three.

Mr. Goerke joined … Read on

News

Taylor Swift Plans Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons

philmaggitti 189 Views 1 min read

NASHVILLE – Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced on her website yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift, who turns her frequent two-month romances into popular … Read on

Sporting Life

Mark McGwire Admits to Using Prayer to Gain Competitive Edge

Biff Scuzzy 199 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – During a fifty-minute interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network yesterday, former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire confessed tearfully that he had turned to prayer in order to treat injuries … Read on

Technology

Al Gore Claims Credit for Inventing the Toilet Cam

philmaggitti 159 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Former vice president Al Gore will tell the American Library Association’s (ALA) midwinter meeting in Boston next week that he invented the toilet cam.

In a draft copy of the vice … Read on

News

There’s Trouble in The Dog Whisperer’s Paradise

Biff Scuzzy 181 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Who doesn’t love Cesar Millan? The munchkin figure, the sun-god smile, the cute, spikey hair, those preternaturally white teeth, that funny ogg-sent. He trains people; he rehabilitates dogs; he’s stinking … Read on

Sporting Life

NBA Installing Metal Detectors in All Locker Rooms

philmaggitti 194 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK, N.Y. -The National Basketball Association (NBA) moved quickly to minimize the presence of handguns in locker rooms around the league following an incident in the Washington Wizards locker room a few days … Read on