March, 2010 - postcards from the pug bus

UConn Women a Huge Bust in the Neilsen Ratings

Biff Scuzzy 174 Views 2 min read

DAYTON, Ohio – The University of Connecticut’s women’s basketball team might be the best women’s team ever assembled, but their Neilsen ratings suck. According to the Nielsen overnights for the UConn-Florida State game last night—which … Read on

Culture Technology

AARP Endorses iPad Betty White Model for Sexting Seniors-CCTV Cameras

philmaggitti 165 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Apple and the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) have joined forces in order to fill a niche in the ever-competitive cell phone market: the growing popularity of sexting among senior citizens.… Read on

News

Corey Haim or Corey Feldman Found Dead of Drug Overdose

philmaggitti 194 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Actor Corey Haim, 38, or actor Corey Feldman, 38, was pronounced dead at Providence Saint Joseph Medical Center in Burbank, California, Wednesday morning after an apparent overdose. This according to … Read on

Music

Lil’ Wayne Sentencing Postponed for Hemorrhoid Surgery

Biff Scuzzy 182 Views 1 min read

NEW YORK – Once again an attorney for Lil’ Wayne has requested a postponement of the rapscallion’s jail sentencing for attempted gun possession. The sentencing had been scheduled originally for last month, but Judge Charles … Read on

News Religion

Vatican Chorister Fingered in Gay Sex Scandal

philmaggitti 182 Views 2 min read

VATICAN CITY – The Vatican remained tight-lipped today following reports that a chorister was fired for allegedly procuring male prostitutes for a papal gentleman-in-waiting.

That gentleman, Angelo Balducci, was heard on a police wiretap negotiating … Read on

Sporting Life

Ben Roethlisberger Fondles the Snapper

Biff Scuzzy 162 Views 2 min read

MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga. – A twenty-year-old college student has accused Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of sexually assaulting her at a nightclub early Friday morning. The student, whose name is being withheld by authorities, alleges that … Read on

Culture

Satire Site Reveals How to Tell When You’ve Had Sex

philmaggitti 182 Views 2 min read

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. – Researchers at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University were gobsmacked to learn that people cannot agree on what they mean when they say they’ve “had sex.” This conclusion was reached following phone … Read on

Music

RIAA Sues Fetus as Accessory to Illegal Downloading

philmaggitti 193 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK — The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has lowered the bar in its war against music piracy. In a surprising legal maneuver the RIAA slapped a four-month-old fetus with a Baby Doe … Read on

Music

Musicians Admit to Only Pretending to Like Pete Seeger

philmaggitti 191 Views 2 min read

Dave Matthews, Bruce Springsteen, and a host of musicians who have appeared with folk singer Pete Seeger during the last few years have admitted they were “only pretending to like” the ninety-year-old Seeger and his … Read on