October 2013 – postcards from the pug bus

The Grammar Prick Says Leave God Out of It

philmaggitti 219 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–While the Grammar Prick was watching a football game on television recently, an announcer declared, “Quarterbacks like Peyton Manning are a godsend.” What is wrong with that statement, boys and girls?

1) Peyton … Read on

Religion

God “Sick and Tired of Being Everybody’s Damn Witness”

philmaggitti 212 Views 1 min read

HEAVEN–The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say “as god is my witness” when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.

“Have you any … Read on

Religion

Pope Francis OK with Miley Cyrus Remark

philmaggitti 213 Views 1 min read

VATICAN CITY–Pope Francis told the website Hunger TV that people should not be so quick to condemn Miley Cyrus for saying she didn’t want some “seventy-year-old Jewish man that doesn’t leave his desk all day, … Read on

Technology

New iPad 5 Will Introduce Fading Keypad Letters

Chip Hilton 272 Views 2 min read

CUPERTINO, Ca.–The big whisper from the Apple campus here in Cupertino is that Apple’s new iPad 5 and iPad Mimi 2 will introduce fading keypad letters. This innovation, one of several iPad redesign elements in … Read on

Religion

Chinese Altar Breads Flooding American Market

philmaggitti 190 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The ultra-competitive altar bread market has been thrown into a cocked miter by the emergence of Chinese players in this sacramental arena, but at least one of their American counterparts does not seem … Read on

Horoscopes

Horoscope Dreams Starring Miley Cyrus, Martha Stewart, Lassie, and More

philmaggitti 205 Views 4 min read

Catmando—a mythical creature who is half human, half feline, and half baked—is famed for the bumbling accuracy with which he is able to see into the past darkly. Not content to flail around there, Catmando … Read on

News

Pennsylvania Governor Compares Same-Sex Marriage To Incest

philmaggitti 272 Views 2 min read

HARRISBURG, Pa.—During an interview broadcast yesterday on CBS 21 News in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Republican Governor Tom Corbett was asked by anchor person Sherry Christian about a statement made by his lawyers comparing the marriage of … Read on

Sporting Life

WNBA Finals Will Proceed Despite Government Shutdown

philmaggitti 207 Views 1 min read

NEW YORK–Proving once again that it is capable of meeting any challenge, the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) announced today that it will hold its championship series as scheduled, beginning this Sunday in Minneapolis, despite … Read on