Month: November 2019

Al Gore is rightly celebrated as the “father of the Internet,” but few people know that he is also the “father of the toilet cam,” whose praises we sing today. The former vice president confessed … Read on

Do you remember what you were doing when Beatle George Harrison died eighteen years ago today? Of course not. Most people don’t remember what they were doing when “The Quiet Beatle” was alive. That’s how … Read on

What we casually refer to as Thanksgiving should properly be called You’re on Indian Land Day; but who wants to put up with drunken relatives, tryptophan poisoning, holiday traffic, shitty football, and severe gastric … Read on

The never-ending resistance to the nanny state and to soccer moms everywhere is marked by small but sustaining victories. Folding, spindling, or mutilating where prohibited. Sending contraband through the mail. Swapping prices on items in … Read on

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Apple CEO Tim Cook has a major surprise up his sleeve, at very least, as Apple throws its support behind National Butt Plug Day. “The iPlug, a combination thumb drive and butt plug, … Read on

The National Day Calendar (NDC) is your go-to source if you want to know when National Tattoo Day is celebrated or when we observe National Baked Bean Month. According to the NDC, July is … Read on

WILMINGTON, De.—What better way to observe National Bogus Handicapped Parking Sticker Day than by having lunch at a tony restaurant with a confirmed handicapped-parking-sticker cheat? We’ll call him Ralph. He is one of a notorious … Read on

WEST CHESTER, PA—Although we celebrate National Kick the Cat Day, we do not advocate kicking cats literally; and we hasten to assure you that no cats were harmed during the writing of this monograph. We … Read on

WEST CHESTER, PA—It may be impossible to be too rich or too thin, but it is possible to have too much titty. More than a mouthful is a waste, for sure, and over-endowed women whose … Read on

WEST CHESTER, PA—Good things come to those who wait and to those who can wait to come. Bad things, unfortunately, are the fate of the one in five men between the ages of eighteen and … Read on

WEST CHESTER, PA—Today our divided nation unites in the observation of National Blivit Day. According to Reader’s Digest, where blivit first appeared in a 1945 column called “Humor in Uniform,” a blivit was originally … Read on

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Before we fusilade the fireworks in celebration of National Earworm Day, we must observe that said day is the only national day (so far) to have it own patron saint. That’s right … Read on

WASHINGTON, D.C.–The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) will issue a two-finger proclamation sometime today, declaring that (1) January 3 will henceforth and hereinafter be known as National AARP Senior Sperm Day and (2) sperm … Read on