Book of Daze: Ban CBD Forever Day℠

Regarding CBD oil, never has so much been swallowed by so many at such great cost to so little effect. Consequently, Postcards from the Pug Bus are urging President Trump to sign an executive order that would ban CBD at once making it illegal to manufacture, distribute, house, consume, possess, shelter, or talk about in public any product containing CBD in any way, shape. or form. Amen.

What set us off was this disgustingly offensive article on sheknows.com: “I Used CBD Oil During Period Sex and This is What Happened.” Who the hell cares?

That was the county-mandated paper straw that broke the camel’s back. When stupid folks start rubbing CBD oil on their love canals, all bets are on. (If you’re tempted to click that link, remember Facebook is probably tracking you, as are Google, your wife, and Jesus only knows who the hell else.)

Esther Blessing, a professor and researcher at NYU who performs and reviews clinical trials on CBD’s effectiveness, had this to say when she was asked about widely available and unregulated CBD oils, “This is the main scam, snake oil thing going on out there now.”

The Vox article quoting Ms. Blessing also reported: “CBD is about as poorly regulated and understood as a product this popular can possibly be. It’s not accurate to say that CBD, as a whole, is horse feathers [but] that doesn’t mean the stuff you’re buying works.”

Or that you’re taking enough in the event that it might work. NuLeaf Naturals hawks 240 mg of CBD oil for $38.50. No “dosage” is recommended, but doing the math tells you that each of the 100 drops in that bottle contains 2.4 mg of CBD. You would have to toss back the entire bottle, according to Ms. Blessing, to get close to the absolute minimum dose that studies show might be effective for reducing anxiety. Dropping 10 mg of that (stuff) under your tongue three times a day “or as needed” to relieve anything is like taking a squirt gun filled with CBD-infused water to a knife fight.

In conclusion, that CBD you’re buying at the Gas-and-Go cannot contain more than 0.03 percent THC by law. In an article published in Pharmacology & Pharmacy (2015)(as cited on cannabisclinicians.org): “When given either intraperitoneally or orally as a purified product, a bell-shaped dose-response was observed, which limits its clinical use.”

(When a dose response is bell-shaped, the effects increase for a while before hitting a threshold/maximum and then dropping off, tracing a bell shape. Beyond a certain number of milligrams, CBD isolate may become less effective.)

“In the present study, we have studied in mice the anti-inflammatory and anti-nociceptive activities of standardized plant extracts derived from the Cannabis sativa L., clone 202, which is highly enriched in CBD and hardly contains any psychoactive ingredients.

“In stark contrast to purified CBD, the clone 202 extract, when given either intraperitoneally or orally, provided a clear correlation between the anti-inflammatory and anti-nociceptive responses and the dose, with increasing responses upon increasing doses, which makes this plant medicine ideal for clinical uses.”

Is that the sound of bubbles breaking one hears? That CBD which works best is the CBD that works with more than a mean-spirited amount of THC. CBD is like vegetables: It’s best used as a garnish for the meat of the meal.

Now, the final nail in the coffin:
“There really isn’t very much evidence in humans with respect to its effectiveness,” says Ziva Cooper, the research director at the University of California-Los Angeles Cannabis Research Initiative.

“And when I say ‘evidence in humans,’ I’m really talking about rigorous, double-blind placebo-controlled studies.” On the other hand, Cooper says, there’s also not much research showing that cannabidiol doesn’t work for things. “There is just a general lack of studies–period.”

Next Ellen: The Yin/Yang of CBD

For additional Book of Daze entries that celebrate other days that ought not be allowed to exist either.

⚠️ Satire rules here. If you are looking for facts, bring your own. If you are looking for spiritual, economic, or moral counseling, try prayer. Just do not bring any lawyers around this entertainment-only venue.