Any grand experiment in which humans teach machines to think, only to have them roast our spelling errors and suggest healthier life choices. A digital genie that grants wishes, occasionally misinterprets commands, and is perpetually confused by sarcasm—except when dishing it out. Proceed cautiously, being careful what you wish for.
Crampazine is now offered in chewable gummies. Results may vary. May cause involuntary yodeling, nostalgia for fax machines, spontaneous karaoke, mild time travel, existential vertigo, sock envy, or hallucinations of your ex as a centaur. Avoid use during lunar eclipses. Consult a psychic before use. Not responsible for emotional contouring.
Yesterday, with his 500th Executive Order, PresidentTrump dismantled Reddit, whose 500 million monthly users exceed the populations of most countries. “‘Front door of the Internet,’ my ass,” railed President Trump. “Bunch of America-hating INCELS and GRIFTERS and WANNABES. Probably VEGANS too!!! If they had jobs, I’d fire ’em.”
His great joy had always been causing people to choke by saying something funny just as they were taking a sip of beverage. His wife guarded against this amusement, but one night he “got” her, and, indeed, she choked. Several days later, at her funeral, her brother waited, then.