Bidens New Dogs. WTF?
The Rescue DOG & End of Life Sanctuary in Mountain City, Tennessee, has proudly confirmed that the Bidens’ new dogs–a pair of five-month-old, black Lab-mix… Read More
News
Current events filtered through our jaundiced worldview. By the time you read this, everything is already worse. We report what happened, add contempt, and call it a service. The truth hurts; we just twist the knife.
Neighborhood Group Chat Slowly Radicalizes Itself
The neighborhood group chat was created to coordinate leaf pickup. This goal was declared in the inaugural message, which included a spreadsheet, a color‑coded map,… Read More
Load Management in Everyday Life
Load management has escaped the sports arena. Its advocates walk among us wearing athleisure and speaking in analytic tongues. The load management idea is simple:… Read More
The Unfinished Projects Division of the FBI Launches Door‑to‑Door Audit
The Unfinished Projects Division of the FBI initiated its first nationwide door‑to‑door audit this morning. Agents dressed in the bureau’s signature beige windbreakers arrived unannounced… Read More
USPS Introduces a New Class of Mail: Unsent Letters
The United States Postal Service declared yesterday that it had started to deliver Unsent Letters, a new class of mail reserved for messages people never… Read More
Local Springfield HOA Votes to Secede
The HOA decision was a shock to residents who thought the group existed to regulate outdoor decorations rather than pursue territorial ambition and a new… Read More
The 911 Calls Hall of Fame
The 911 Calls Hall of Fame honors reported emergencies that are not true emergencies, but are treated as such—or worse. Each entry has been preserved… Read More
Federal Recall Issued After Expired Leftovers Become Sentient
The U.S. Department of Applied Refrigeration has issued a recall of expired leftovers that have become sentient. The department issued its recall at 9:14 this… Read More