Does Your Third Eye Need Glasses?
The Third Eye is the most neglected organ in the human body, which is saying something given how badly most people treat the pancreas. According… Read More
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Springsteen’s “Streets of Minneapolis” Reviewed
Bruce Springsteen released “Streets of Minneapolis” on January 28 in response to recent events involving federal agents and aggressive anti-ICE demonstrators in that city. The… Read More
President Threatens England with Economic Ruin over “Magastar”
The delicate peace between the United States and the United Kingdom shattered this morning when the President issued a final, gold-embossed warning to the scholars… Read More
Playing Chicken with the System, Confrontational Behavior and Institutional Response
The current political meltdown playing out in the streets of this country has followed a predictable script–a slam dance between confrontational behavior and institutional response.… Read More
A sentient golden toilet that later staged its own heist to escape the "trickle-down" rot of British nobility.
The Duke of Marlborough’s Golden Toilet Legacy
I, The Duke of Marlborough’s golden toilet, was born in a furnace at 1,948 degrees Fahrenheit, then forged into a literal gleaming throne of excess,… Read More
North Pole Land Dispute: Frostbite Tribe Demands Return of Santa’s Workshop
NORTH POLE – In a gobsmacking legal development, the indigenous Frostbite Tribe has filed a claim with the International Arctic Court alleging that Santa Claus… Read More
When Trees Communicate About Humans (It’s Not Pretty)
Scientists have long known that trees communicate through underground fungal networks, sharing nutrients and warning each other of danger. What we did not know–until now–is… Read More
Silicon Valley Discovers Ancient Financial Concept Called “Debt,” Then Ruins It
In what industry experts are calling “impressively stupid even by tech standards,” major technology companies have collectively borrowed over $100 billion to construct cathedral-sized buildings… Read More