WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa–A new study published in Applied Psychological Measurement suggests that the obesity epidemic has begun to make quantifiable inroads on the human soul. The study, conducted by a team of researchers from the Johns Hopkins University School of Social Psychometrics, was designed to replicate a century-old study that reported… Read More
CUPERTINO, CA—Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking contest to see who can get to market first with a significant upgrade for the Old White Man (OWM) app, which was originally patterned after Grindr, a popular app that helps gay men to locate other gay men who… Read More
In its rollout of the iPhone 12, Apple seems to have saved one of the most revolutionary features of its gear new phone for last: the Fecal Finder™ app, which can detect fecal material as small as one part per one hundred millionth on any iPhone 12. “That’s like being… Read More
WEST CHESTER, PA—The Killer Kwanzaa app, offered free through the Black Lives Matter (BLM) website, is suspected of forcing its way onto the tablets, mobile phones, and computers of selected persons who visit the BLM site—whether they want the app or not. This scorched-app strategy is similar Microsoft’s hyper-aggressive rollout… Read More
"The Amish can retrofit everything from cell phones to hair curlers to dildoes so that they all run on propane."
Bird in Hand, PA—News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youth—Jacob Stolzfus, 18, Lucas Stolzfus, 19, and Cyrus Martin, 21—has exploded like after-market vape pens in this quaintly named Amish community. The youth, who were all employed in the kitchen at Miller’s Family Style Smorgasbord, died after the vape… Read More
WEST GOSHEN, Pa.—Something called the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC) wants you to know that Hello Barbie™ is the most sordid and contemptible toy ever sold this year. According to CCFC founder, Susan Linn, Hello Barbie™ is “creepy and creates a host of dangers for children and families.” Wondering… Read More
CARLISLE, Pa.—The National Computer Security Association (NCSA) has announced that Windows 10, the aggressively marketed new operating system from Microsoft, now qualifies as malware. The NCSA, headquartered in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, made the announcement after receiving “countless troubling reports” of Microsoft’s having “gone rogue” in promoting and distributing Windows 10. “Microsoft’s… Read More
SAN FRANCISCO, Ca.–As the tech world holds its breath waiting for Apple’s Christmas-in-September party today, rumors are swirling that the Cupertino giant has a major surprise up its sleeve—or up its ass, to be more precise. “The iButt, a combination thumb drive and butt plug, will be rolled out today,”… Read More
GENEVA – Tim Berners-Lee, the father of the world wide web, finally has admitted that he misspelling “worldwide” when he created the web twenty years ago. Mr. Berners-Lee was employed as a junior programmer at a nuclear research center near Geneva, Switzerland, when he wrote a proposal that led eventually… Read More
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–In perhaps his most controversial revelation yet, Edward Snowden has leaked details of the National Security Agency (NSA) misuse of the protocol for pirating movies. The latest Snowden leak reveals that NSA employees who are supposed to be monitoring movie piracy are actually pirating movies themselves. This information… Read More
CUPERTINO, Ca.–The big whisper from the Apple campus here in Cupertino is that Apple’s new iPad 5 and iPad Mimi 2 will introduce fading keypad letters. This innovation, one of several iPad redesign elements in the offing, has the potential to be the breakout star of Apple’s fall launch event… Read More
ARLINGTON, Vir.–The buzz around Apple’s new iPhone 5s just got louder. Rosetta Stone®, the world’s leading, computer-based, language-instruction company, announced the release of its new Pig Latin App in time for the iPhone launch on Friday. The app, which provides full access to Rosetta Stone®’s ten-volume Pig Latin instructional set,… Read More
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Previously on Postcards from the Pug Bus, Edward Snowden revealed that National Security Agency (NSA) employees who were supposed to be monitoring movie piracy were actually pirating movies themselves, on and off the job. As Mr. Snowden observed, private citizens do not generally have access to the NSA’s… Read More
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Previously on Postcards from the Pug Bus, Edward Snowden revealed that National Security Agency (NSA) employees who were supposed to be monitoring movie piracy were actually pirating movies themselves, on and off the job. As Mr. Snowden observed, private citizens do not generally have access to the NSA’s… Read More
WASHINGTON–National Security Agency (NSA) personnel have, on numerous occasions, used their agency’s ginormous eavesdropping power to spy on booty calls and other communications of a sexual nature, reported FOX News “O’Reilley Factor” last night. The NSA, as usual, was quick to respond, issuing the following denial before the Fox News… Read More