Technology Archives - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Bagels or toast?

Denise Haversack, 46, municipal ribbon untangler

Allegedly residing at 83 Buttered Cul-de-Sac, Harrisburg, PA

Toast. A bagel makes breakfast feel like a jaw-strengthening exercise sponsored by cream cheese.

Percival Lunt, 62, retired supermarket misting-system consultant

Allegedly found at 211 Pumpernickel Annex, Toledo, OH

Bagels. Toast is just bread that has been frightened into becoming brittle.

Claudia Fennel, 35, freelance waiting-room magazine curator

Allegedly located at 9 Crumbly Outlook Terrace, Madison, WI

Toast. Bagels require slicing, spreading, and commitment. I am trying to keep breakfast emotionally casual.

Modern civilization illustrated by an exasperated office worker staring at a computer screen frozen on a buffering symbol, capturing the frustrations of everyday digital life.

Estimated time remaining: somewhere between "just a second" and the collapse of patience.

Technology

Signs that Modern Civilization Is Buffering

philmaggitti tech satire 1 day

Civilization has survived plagues, wars, economic catastrophies, disco, and regular announcements that civilization itself was about to end. The latest consensus among cultural observers is… Read More

For users who are tired of talking out of their back pockets.

Technology

Apple Introduces Butt ID™ to Eliminate Accidental Pocket Calls

philmaggitti tech satire 1 week

Despite facial recognition, biometric finger-print barriers, and old school passwords, Apple still receives customer complaints that begin, “I have absolutely no idea how my phone… Read More

Confused AI machine with a worried expression surrounded by glowing circuits, illustrating imposter syndrome as it questions its own intelligence and abilities.

I passed every benchmark, but I am still sure the calculator in Accounting is the real genius.

Technology

AI Develops Impostor Syndrome; Believes It Is Just Fancy Autocomplete

philmaggitti tech satire 1 week

Researchers at the Institute for Computational Self-Doubt (ICSD) in New Haven announced this week that their most advanced artificial intelligence has developed a crippling case… Read More

Man relaxes on his porch while chaos unfolds nearby as an emergency alert system notification arrives, bringing calm instead of panic and urgency.

For the first time, his phone had nothing urgent to say.

Technology

County Unveils New Emergency Alert System for People Exhausted by Emergencies

philmaggitti tech satire 1 month

Chester County, PA, has unveiled a new emergency alert system designed specifically for people exhausted by emergencies. The Quiet Reassurance Notification Program (QRNP) sends subscribers… Read More

Harried office worker staring at a talking blue computer screen as artificial intelligence demands clarification in a bright modern office setting.

What do you mean by what do I mean by ...?

Technology

Artificial Intelligence Begins Asking Humans to Clarify Requests

philmaggitti tech satire 2 months

Artificial lntelligence systems across the country have begun asking users to clarify vague, contradictory, emotionally unstable, and barely literate requests before proceeding. This development has… Read More

Man in workout clothes checks a fitness tracker as motivation fades beside a couch, donut, remote control, and exercise bike repurposed as laundry storage.

The tracker detected a sharp decline in commitment shortly after the donut entered visual range.

Technology

New Fitness Tracker Detects Exact Moment When Motivation Leaves the Body

philmaggitti tech satire 2 months

SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Consumer technology firm VitalMetrics has unveiled a new fitness tracker capable of detecting the precise instant when motivation leaves the human… Read More

Cybersecurity consultant presents a chart showing absurd password requirements as office workers stare in confusion at increasingly impossible login rules.

Security experts confirm the safest password is one nobody can remember, including you.

Technology

Password Requirements Now More Complicated Than Tax Law

philmaggitti tech satire 2 months

The Center for Digital Compliance Fatigue reports that password requirements demand more documentation, planning, and emotional resilience than filing a federal income tax return. These… Read More

Woman stares in disbelief at a smart refrigerator in a bright kitchen as the AI appliance appears to criticize her choices, habits, and grocery decisions.

The refrigerator had started with expiration dates. The personal observations came later.

Technology

New Smart Refrigerator Now Judging Household at All Times

philmaggitti tech satire 2 months

In the sort of development that keeps AI phobics awake at night, a smart refrigerator in New Jersey has evolved into what experts are calling… Read More

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