food Archives - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Salad dressing on the side or on the top?

Marlowe Brint, artisnal jewelry designer

Reportedly outside Santa Fe, NM

On the side, obviously. A salad should retain the illusion of free will until the very last moment. Once dressed, it has chosen a direction and can never go back.

Evelyn Voss, lobster fisher person

May once have lived in Bangor, ME

I prefer it on top, but only in a thin ceremonial line, as priests once applied oils to objects they feared and respected. A salad without dressing is just yard work in a bowl.

Clyde Ketter, attack dog trainer

Unverified, but emphatically from Akron, OH

Neither. The correct approach is to keep the dressing nearby in a separate vessel and let the salad absorb its presence psychologically. That is how my father did it, and his lettuce feared him.

Adverse Effects

The following lines may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

Read It All

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

You remember the thing you said—
not the words,
but the angle of them,
how they leaned slightly wrong
and stayed there.

A life is not ruined in grand gestures.
It goes soft at the edges first.
Corners round off. Standards blur.
You start calling things “fine”
that would have once kept you awake.

Which is the problem.

Because now you do sleep.

Beautifully. Efficiently.
Like someone who has made a series of
very small, very reasonable surrenders
and arranged them into a pillow.

Overhead view of scrambled egg technique result: soft golden curds on white plate, copper pan, linen napkin, silver fork, rustic wood surface.

Yes, those are the correct curds. You're welcome.

food

A Meditation on Scrambled Egg Technique for the Serious Home Cook

philmaggitti food 11 hours

Before we discuss scrambled egg technique, we must discuss the egg awaiting in its carton—ideally a hand-lettered kraft paper carton from a small-batch producer in… Read More

A lavish charcuterie board displays cured meats, artisan cheeses, honeycomb, cornichons, figs, grapes, olives, and crackers by candlelight.

The honeycomb cost eleven dollars and will be largely ignored.

food

What Your Charcuterie Board Is Missing

philmaggitti food 4 days

A charcuterie board is a personality assessment delivered horizontally, communicating in the universal language of cured meats and their concomitants that its architect has taste,… Read More

A fork sitting in The Thinker's pose wearing yellow Crocs.

Fork if I know.,

food

Foods for Thought

philmaggitti food 4 days

Food was once a practical matter involving hunger, heat, and eventually utensils. It is now a form of expression, a signaling system, and a referendum… Read More

A close-up of a small glass bottle, labeled Noma Projects Barrel Aged Wild Rose Balsamic Vinegar, on a wooden block in a cellar with a spotlight.

A bottle of Noma Projects’ Barrel Aged Wild Rose Balsamic Vinegar.

food

Dispatches from the Noma Projects

philmaggitti food 4 days

The Pug Bus food correspondent visits the Noma Projects in Silver Lake, where the balsamic flows and the shame does not The Noma Projects pop-up… Read More

Modern housewife anxiously stirring a frozen entrée with a fork, studying the tray with concern as textures begin to shift in a quiet kitchen scene.

Stirring like this is how a frozen entrée loses the will to live.

food

You’re Stirring Your Frozen Entrées All Wrong

philmaggitti cultural commentary, food 1 week

There is a quiet tragedy unfolding in kitchens across America, and it has nothing to do with sodium content. The tragedy is the way people… Read More

FDA press briefing cartoon shows emotional side effects labels on blueberries, with posters warning of hubris, wistfulness, and mood swings.

“We regret to inform you that these blueberries may cause optimism. Please consume in a controlled setting.”

food

Foods Must Now Disclose Their Emotional Side Effects

philmaggitti food 4 weeks

The Food and Drug Administration announced today that all edible products sold in the United States must now carry side effects labels describing a food’s… Read More

Satirical fine dining scene where diners experience a conceptual tasting menu experience: empty plates, cardboard candles, and a violinist playing mournful notes.

A server delivers atmosphere, implication, and the faint aroma of regret.

Culture food

Restaurant Éthéré: The Invisible Tasting Menu Experience

philmaggitti cultural commentary, food 1 month

Restaurant Éthéré offers a unique tasting menu experience. Food is obsolete and flavor is a mindset. The menu is composed entirely of aromas, narratives, and… Read More

Your food delivery services moment of truth.

food

The 2026 Food Delivery Services Report

philmaggitti food 3 months

Food delivery services, once the beacon of modern convenience, have now entered what experts are calling their “Dadaist Phase.” What began as simple requests for… Read More

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The Pug Bus Instant Newsletter

The Pug Bus Instant Newsletter requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read. The internet worked this way once, before someone realized your attention was worth more to them than it was to you.

Deliver It

⚡ The FDA has approved the first prescription-strength silence, available in 30-day supplies for patients whose doctors have determined they are talking too much. Side effects include clarity, improved listening, and a brief period of being liked.

⚡ A bipartisan congressional caucus has formed to study the feasibility of doing nothing faster. Early results suggest the group is ahead of schedule.

⚡ Netflix has announced a new content category called Shows You Will Start But Not Finish, to be featured prominently alongside Things You Have Already Seen Twice and Movies You Forgot You Watched. Subscribers describe the experience as having a lot of options.