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Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Clowns or Mimes?

Marjorie Finkelstein, 64, retired dental hygienist

318 Willow Street, Scranton, PA

Mimes. At least they have the decency to suffer in silence. A clown wants you to participate in his emotional problems while he honks a horn and falls down. I spent thirty-seven years looking into people's mouths. I have had enough forced entertainment.

Raymond Bickford, 51, commercial refrigeration technician

76 Chestnut Lane, Akron, OH

Clowns. You know where you stand with a clown. He has enormous shoes, a drinking problem, and a car full of accomplices. A mime pretends to be trapped in an invisible box and expects applause. My brother-in-law has been doing that at Thanksgiving for twenty years. Nobody pays him.

Sheila Lattimore, 47, assistant county tax assessor

142 Birch Road, Des Moines, IA

Mimes, provided they remain outdoors. I once hired a clown for my daughter's birthday party. He arrived forty minutes late, smelled like gasoline, and asked whether we had a ladder. The children still talk about it. My daughter is twenty-three.

The Sandwich as Rorschach Test is illustrated by an image of a club sandwich cut in half to reveal its interior.

Da club is in da house.

food

The Sandwich as Rorschach Test

T.J. Eckleburg food 6 months

There is a school of thought—advanced mainly by the Lausanne Institute for Alimentary Comportment—that considers the sandwich a Rorschach Test. After studying sandwiches and their… Read More

Woman sipping green smoothie in a sunlit workspace, projecting calm wellness culture and curated control, illustrating what your breakfast says about you.

“I refine breakfast into a liquid expression of discipline and then feel superior until lunch.”

food

What Your Breakfast Says About You: A Moral Reckoning

T.J. Eckleburg food 6 months

Your character, personality, and moral worth are on display in the day’s first meal. What Your Breakfast Says About You is not only about what… Read More

Restaurants banning cell phones illustration: a waiter presents locked pouch to distracted diners who are glued to screens while untouched food sits cooling on table

“Whenever you are finished ignoring each other, I’ll be here introducing you to your meal.”

food

More Restaurants Banning Cell Phones

T.J. Eckleburg food 6 months

The modern dining experience has entered a corrective phase with more restaurants banning cell phones than ever before. Their move is a reaction to the… Read More

sommelier-style waiter pouring water tableside

Your water has a backstory, a birthplace, and unresolved tension with limestone.

food

How Restaurants Identify Target Customers

T.J. Eckleburg food 7 months

There is a moment, just after seating you, when a restaurant decides whether you are part of its intended ecosystem or an invasive species with… Read More

Zine art shows drive-thru restaurant precautions: a counter fight, pink gun firing, and a man weeping over a cold burger. Captures wait times and regret.

a soggy, bullet-riddled burger that still lacks the requested extra pickles.

food

How to Avoid Getting Shot at 1 a.m.–Drive-Thru Restaurant Precautions

T.J. Eckleburg food 7 months

The modern drive-thru is a miracle of efficiency: calories delivered at speeds that once belonged only to aviation. It is also, at times, a MMA… Read More

Overhead view of scrambled egg technique result: soft golden curds on white plate, copper pan, linen napkin, silver fork, rustic wood surface.

Yes, those are the correct curds. You're welcome.

food

A Meditation on Scrambled Egg Technique for the Serious Home Cook

T.J. Eckleburg food 7 months

Before we discuss scrambled egg technique, we must discuss the egg awaiting in its carton—ideally a hand-lettered kraft paper carton from a small-batch producer in… Read More

A lavish charcuterie board displays cured meats, artisan cheeses, honeycomb, cornichons, figs, grapes, olives, and crackers by candlelight.

The honeycomb cost eleven dollars and will be largely ignored.

food

What Your Charcuterie Board Is Missing

T.J. Eckleburg food 7 months

A charcuterie board is a personality assessment delivered horizontally, communicating in the universal language of cured meats and their concomitants that its architect has taste,… Read More

A fork sitting in The Thinker's pose wearing yellow Crocs.

Fork if I know.,

food

Food for Thought

T.J. Eckleburg food 7 months

Food is now a form of expression, a signaling device, and a referendum on character. People no longer prepare meals so much as curate them.… Read More