A housewife tired of cooking for her large family without any thanks, opened a pop-up restaurant in the family’s garage. It became so popular that her husband and children had to wait on line for their meals.
“That’ll teach them to be on time for dinner,” she laughed to herself.
She bakes one special pastry with care—cinnamon, apples, and arsenic. At the reunion, Eric alone has that one, still laughing about prom night, unaware she remembers everything. He compliments her baking. She smiles, knowing that by dessert’s end, justice will be served warm, and nobody will suspect the quiet girl.
A Canadian couple was eaten by a bear recently despite “shooting” her with a full can of BearScat, “the world’s most effective bear repellent.” Stung by criticism from outraged Redditors, the company has introduced BearScatPro. Each giant-economy-sized can includes a coupon for 20% off any Smith & Wesson hand gun.
Lips bloomed on Gerald’s backside overnight. He derailed the next day’s budget meeting when his trousers declared, “The moon’s a sentient being.” Pandemonium followed. HR wept, sparrows dive-bombed the conference room windows, and Gerald’s mouth grew shy. Corporate then restructured communication. Emails were banned, buttocks uplifted. Profits soared. Pretty cheeky.