They lay on the hood of his car, stars spilling across the night above like secrets. She traced constellations with her finger. He pretended to understand. “That one’s ours,” she whispered, pointing. He nodded quietly, knowing she’d leave eventually; but for now, the sky held them both, breathless and still.
A Canadian couple was eaten by a bear recently despite “shooting” her with a full can of BearScat, “the world’s most effective bear repellent.” Stung by criticism from outraged Redditors, the company has introduced BearScatPro. Each giant-economy-sized can includes a coupon for 20% off any Smith & Wesson hand gun.
The insistence by certain pitiable malcontents that gender is fluid raises an interesting possibility. Why stop at gender? Why shouldn’t age be fluid, too? Be creative. Think outside the calendar. Express your age in dog years. Or parrot years. Cat years? Light years? Why not? Age is only a number.
Daniel had spent months writing a self-help book on time management, preaching discipline and punctuality. On launch day, however, he overslept and arrived, breathless, an hour late for his own event. The audience laughed, thinking it was a gimmick; but Daniel suddenly realized that irony, like charity, begins at home.