Your Tattoo Horoscopes for July 3, 2025
Cancer (6/21 – 7/22): Your nurturing instinct is off the charts today. You will adopt a stray idea, feed it too much attention, and watch it grow into an unmanageable delusion. Careful with soup. It knows what you did.
Leo (7/23 – 8/22): Everyone does see you, Leo. They just don’t want to say anything. Today, a stranger will compliment you and instantly regret it. Your charisma is a weapon. Use it irresponsibly.
Virgo (8/23 – 9/22): You’ve alphabetized your regrets and laminated your traumas. Very productive! But Saturn is judging you, and he’s got notes. Today you’ll clean something that didn’t ask to be cleaned, including someone’s soul.
Libra (9/23 – 10/22): You’ll be forced to make a decision today, which is rude. The stars suggest flipping a coin, then flipping off whoever questions your method. Balance is overrated. So is eye contact.
Scorpio (10/23 – 11/21): You radiate mystery, but mostly because you’ve lost your planner. Passion erupts at an inconvenient moment—possibly while buying light bulbs. Someone will try to “open up” to you. Be ready to close them shut.
Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21): Your thirst for adventure gets you kicked out of three bookstores and one planetarium today. Jupiter is trying to help, but even he’s confused by your browser history. Take a risk, even if it’s not legal.
Capricorn (12/22 – 1/19): You’re climbing the mountain of success with a backpack full of unpaid emotional labor. Good news: you reach the summit. Bad news: it’s a water tower and security is on their way.
Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18): Today you invent something revolutionary: a new kind of silence. People around you won’t know if you’re wise or broken. Either way, they’ll project onto you. Wear something unreasonably drapey.
Pisces (2/19 – 3/20): You’re feeling poetic and waterlogged. Your dreams are intense, your coffee is weak, and you keep mistaking metaphors for instructions. Love appears in the form of a customer service rep named “Clint.” Hold on.
Aries (3/21 – 4/19): You wake up feeling invincible, which is unfortunate, because your ego is writing checks your talents can’t cover. Today’s planetary alignment encourages bold decisions and immediate regret. Avoid open flames and people who say “trust me.”
Taurus (4/20 – 5/20): The moon is in your second house. It’s subletting from Mercury and refusing to pay rent. Meanwhile, your bank account achieves sentience just to file for emancipation. Buy nothing today except forgiveness and breath mints.
Gemini (5/21 – 6/20): Two-faced? No. You prefer “emotionally ambidextrous.” Today you’ll be mistaken for three different people by noon. Consider this a superpower—or a cry for help. Avoid mirrors and group chats.
