July 2006 – Page 2 – postcards from the pug bus

Britney Spears Supports Restricted Licenses for Teens

philmaggitti 401 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Britney Spears has thrown her weight behind a national initiative to restrict driving privileges for sixteen-year-olds. The once-and-future mother announced yesterday that she is “like totally in favor of” laws that restrict sixteen-year-old drivers from carrying passengers, driving while eating a sandwich, and driving while having sex, including oral sex, which many teenagers Read More

Music

Johnny Depp Gets Keith Richards for Monkey Role in Next Pirates

Chip Hilton 412 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Johnny Depp realized a longtime dream when Keith Richards agreed to play Depp’s monkey in the third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Mr. Depp, who used Mr. Richards’ trademark mincing gait and effeminate mannerisms as the “rhythm track” for his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in the original Pirates, had been considering Richards Read More

Politics

Guantanamo Ruling on bin Laden’s Driver a Blow to Bush

philmaggitti 413 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Supreme Court ruled Thursday that Salim Ahmed Hamdan, the short and slight Yemeni who was once Osama bin Laden’s driver, must receive a trial with new, congressionally approved procedures. Before the court’s ruling, President George W. Bush wanted to try Mr. Hamdan in three feet of frog-infested water because, Read More

Celebrities

Feed Lindsay Lohan Campaign Gaining Weight

Chip Hilton 451 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – The Feed Lindsay Lohan campaign gathered critical mass today, Lohan’s nineteenth birthday, with the addition of the United Nations, the Hunger Project, and Carl’s Jr. fast food chain to the list of international organizations dedicating their resources to preventing Lohan from starving herself to death. “We cannot allow this talented young actress, who Read More

Celebrities

Pamela Anderson Strips for Twin Causes

philmaggitti 452 Views 3 min read

LONDON – Actress Pamela Anderson, who is thirty-nine today, admitted she was promoting more than one cause when she stripped in the window of designer Stella McCartney’s Mayfair boutique in support of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animal’s campaign against the use of fur in fashion. “Of course I was there to help PETA Read More