“Digging for Digital Ghosts,” An Interview with James Howells
In an observation tower at the Newport, South Wales, landfill, the Pug Bus talked with James Howells, who has finally ended his campaign to recover a hard drive containing $8,000 worth of Bitcoins that he discarded by accident in 2013. (Those lost coins are now worth $274 million. )
Pug Bus: Can you describe your feelings now that your search is finally over?
James Howells: You know, they say you can’t take it with you when you go, but I didn’t even get to keep it while I stayed. Eight thousand Bitcoins—vanished, exiled to a stinking landfill, then buried somewhere beneath expired nappies, cans of Fosters, and the shattered dreams of Newport’s recycling program. Fuck me.
As the crime scene tape near the landfill rippled, and a robotic search dog named Stanley barked occasionally, we continued.
PB: They say fortune favors the brave …
JH: I say fortune favors those who don’t throw away a fortune when they think they’re throwing away a hard drive and some junk.
PB: Fair enough. Now let’s cut to the compost. Did you throw away the hard drive, or did your partner pitch it during a cleaning spree?
JH: I placed two drives in a bag. One drive had videos of my dog, a bit of porn, and some nudes of my ex. The other drive had roughly $8 million in Bitcoin. My former partner helped with the disposal. If we’re allocating blame, I’d say it was 70 perent me, 20 percent her, and 10 percent the cruel god of misfiled destiny.
PB:The Newport Council won’t let you dig in the landfill. Is their resistance personal, poetic, or profoundly bureaucratic?
JH: They cite “alleged” environmental concerns. I cite the environmental concern of losing enough wealth to terraform Wales. They say “no realistic prospect.” I say reality’s overrated.
PB: You have proposed using drones, robot dogs, landfill scans, and other high tech approaches to locate the drive. That sounds expensive. Have you considered a psychic?
JH: Already tried that. She kept asking if I had an auntie named Mildred. Then she charged me $300 to tell me the drive was “feeling shy.”
PB: If the drive is found, what will be the first thing you do?
JH: I’ll weep. Possibly shirtless. Then I’ll record a TED Talk–“Trash Decisions: How I Learned to Live with Municipal Indifference.”
PB: Do you have any regrets at this point?
JH: Only that I didn’t throw away my autobiography instead. The working title is The Man Who Almost Owned a Yacht.
PB: What would you say to the drive if you could?
JH: (gazing toward the trash heap) “Come home. We have cold storage now.”
PB: So where do you go from here?
JH: I pitched a documentary, of course. Netflix passed. HBO said it lacked nudity. Amazon wanted me to punch Jeff Bezos in the third act. So now I wait for redemption, or maybe a rat to find it first
.The interview was concluded abruptly just as Stanley the robotic dog attempted to mate with a discarded fax machine, and the Newport South Wales Landfill Police came riding up on three-wheeled motorcycles.