Flash

Calypso winds tangled the laundry as Aunt Muriel danced barefoot, flinging fruitcake at the rabbits who’d been eating her heirloom lettuce. The sun blinked. A… Read More

Eddie claimed stress gave him an ulcer. His wife disagreed. It was his nightly “relaxation ritual” of hot wings, bourbon, and screaming at the TV… Read More

The funeral had better snacks than my wedding. People lingered longer, too–less out of love than obligation. I raised a glass to the deceased and… Read More

At precisely 9:03 this morning, George attempted to reverse his unfortunate life decisions by backing his Prius into a yoga studio. “I meant metaphorically!” he… Read More

In a perfect world, most computer problems can be solved by unplugging the computer, then plugging it back in. Why else do computer technicians always… Read More

At karaoke night, Jim tried to show off with an operatic high note. Suddenly, his uvula staged a furious one-man protest, flapping like a drunken… Read More

A nemesis isn’t just an enemy, it’s the perfect, poetic counterforce to your life. It haunts your successes, highlights your flaws, and appears when you… Read More