The insistence by certain pitiable malcontents that gender is fluid raises an interesting possibility.
Why stop at gender? Why shouldn’t age be fluid, too?
Be creative. Think outside the calendar. Express your age in dog years. Or parrot years. Cat years? Light years? Why not? Age is only a number.
Marvin shuffled to the porch, coffee in hand, to greet the sun like an old war buddy. “Still fighting the dark, eh?” he’d mutter. One dawn the chair rocked empty, but the sunrise, bold, seemed brighter, as if saluting him back. Light poured down–and the day stood in silence, remembering.
Forget dirt, bugs, and lack of dignity. Try glamping. It’s camping for people who hate nature and demand artisanal s’mores. Why rough it? You can pay $800 a night to “connect with nature” from a temperature-controlled yurt with Egyptian cotton sheets and a salt lamp shaped like a pine cone.
(1) Deep breaths—because oxygen apparently cures existential dread. (2) Distract yourself—recite the Bee Movie script, backward. (3) Rebrand it—you’re not panicking; you’re having a passionate internal discussion. (4) Absurd Exaggeration–inflate your worries to ridiculous proportions, naked-people-in-the-audience proportions. (5) Meme Therapy–view comical memes, nothing deflates anxiety like a SpongeBob reaction image.… Read More