Mike Huckabee Says Michael Moore Has Manboobs

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee challenged Sicko creator Michael Moore “to take off his shirt and show us what he’s hiding.” Mr. Huckabee also charged that Mr. Moore’s body mass index is so high he’ll soon have to breathe by blowing water through a hole in the middle of his shoulders.

“Anybody with a set of manboobs like he’s got has a lot of nerve telling the rest of us what’s wrong with America’s health care system,” Mr. Huckabee told reporters in a conference call Wednesday.

“If you want to know why health care is so expensive in this country, take a look at Michael Moore. He’s clearly one of the big reasons that we have an expensive system.”

Mr. Huckabee, who was nearly the size of Arkansas when he was governor of the state, lost more than 110 pounds and became an avid runner several years ago after he had been diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes.

“I know the difference between what my health care cost when I didn’t take care of myself and when I did,” Mr. Huckabee said, “not only in terms of doctor visits but also in regard to regular diseases, illnesses, chronic ailments, and monthly prescription bills.”

Asked if he had seen Sicko, Mr. Huckabee replied, “I’ll see that piece of shit when Michael Moore is able to see his dick.”

Mr. Moore was not available for comment, but Meghan O’Hara, producer of Sicko, questioned Mr. Huckabee’s motives in criticizing Mr. Moore.

“Mike Huckabee is auditioning for some insurance company dough because he’s raised little money and less interest since entering the race,” said Ms. O’Hara in a response provided by Mr. Moore’s production office.

“Huckabee ought to stop sucking up to insurance campaign contributors and stop blaming Americans for the health-care crisis. Just because he quit eating Twinkies by the bushel doesn’t make that an outline for a national health care plan.”

Correction: In yesterday’s obituary of Lady Bird Johnson we reported that her husband began having extramarital affairs after he had become president. We were mistaken. Mr. Johnson’s affairs began after he had become a senator.