Month: July 2005

Celebrities

Paula Abdul Remains on American Idol for Now

BEVERLY HILLS – An embattled Paula Abdul will still be in the judge’s seat, at least for the time being, when production begins in August on a new round of American Idol shows. Despite allegations of sexual improprieties—and conduct unbecoming a judge—with 2003 finalist Corey Clark, Abdul, 42, will be involved in American Idol when the first auditions for Read More

Celebrities

Cameron Diaz Replacing Nancy Grace on Court TV

ATLANTA – Cameron Diaz and her simpering smile will replace Nancy Grace and her self-righteous nostrils in the anchor seat of Closing Arguments, seen at 3 p.m. weekdays on Court TV. In announcing the change, William D. Faux, programming director at Court TV, allowed that Diaz’ recent legal victories were “among the relevant factors” in the Read More

Celebrities

Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Deny Living Together

MALIBU – Spokespersons for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have issued a joint communique denying that their clients are living together. “Despite certain physical evidence that might normally indicate two persons are cohabitating,” the communique began, “Angelina is simply staying with Brad while he continues to recover from his recent life-threatening attack of meningitis. She Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Ditches Herbie at London Premiere

LONDON – Lindsay Lohan managed to infuriate her studio, her co-star, her fashion providers, and legions of her emaciated fans by skipping out on the premiere of Herbie: Fully Loaded in London last night. Lohan was a no-show at a Leicester Square theater, where hundreds of anorexic look-alikes huddled for warmth in bone-rattling proximity while waiting to Read More

Sporting Life

O.J. Simpson Vows to Find Real DirecTV Pirate

EL SEGUNDO – After being ordered by a Florida judge to pay DirecTV $25,000 in damages, plus attorneys’ fees, for stealing the satellite platform’s signal, O.J. Simpson vowed that he “wouldn’t rest” until he had found the “real signal thieves.” Despite Simpson’s pledge, a DirecTV representative claimed, “The evidence in this case was overwhelming.” According Read More

Celebrities

Jennifer Aniston to Buy Back Love Notes

LOS ANGELES – Sources close to Jennifer Aniston say the Friends star will be watching eBay closely when love notes she wrote as a teenager and other memorabilia go on sale July 29. The items to be auctioned include a scrap of paper with Aniston’s name and phone number scrawled on it in lipstick, a love letter Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears to Deliver Baby Live in September

HOLLYWOOD – Britney Spears, not content to let her sister, Jamie-Lynn, break the news that Britney is due to give birth to her first baby in September, announced yesterday that the birth will be televised on a special two-hour live segment of her reality show, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic. Spears told reporters that she was “taking Read More

Celebrities

Brad Pitt Makes Scrutinized Public Appearance

BEVERLY HILLS – Brad Pitt made a run-of-the-mill, buss-and-bolt appearance at the annual Hollywood Foreign Press Association luncheon Wednesday. Pitt’s reason for attending—to accept a $250,000 check on behalf of the Film Foundation Inc., which restores old movies—was hardly the stuff of mild interest, let alone major news. The media conspired, nevertheless, to treat the Read More

Celebrities

Colin Farrell Obtains Face-Saving Injunction

LOS ANGELES – People are beginning to wonder why Colin Farrell is so desperate to prevent his former girlfriend Nicole Narain from releasing the X-rated home video the couple made two years ago. In an industry where there is no such animal as bad publicity—and where sex tapes have actually given a leg up to Read More

Celebrities

Sandra Bullock Wedding a Monster Mistake

LAS VEGAS – Oddsmakers have set the over-under figure for the Sandra Bullock-Jesse James marriage at fourteen months, and the early money has been trending toward the under. The squeaky clean, sensible, major star Bullock, who turns forty-one soon, married the heavily tattooed reality television dude James, 36, in front of more than three hundred Read More

Celebrities

Jude Law Apologies for Seducing the Nanny

LONDON – A distraught and groveling Jude Law apologized publicly to his fiancee, actress Sienna Miller, after she had read a newspaper article claiming that Law “was having it away” with his children’s nanny. According to London’s tabloid conscience, The Sun, Law, 32, e-mailed an apology to “every major newspaper in Britain and to the secretaries Read More

Sporting Life

Michelle Wie Earns Another Moral Victory

LEBANON, Ohio – Michelle Wie continued her march to golf immortality on Friday with a 5-4 loss to someone named Clay Ogden in the quarter final round of the U.S. Amateur Public Links tournament, men’s division. Although technically Ogden went on to win the tournament, Wie rightfully garnered the winner’s share of attention from the Read More

Celebrities

Diaz Tells Court She’s Proud of Her Breasts

LOS ANGELES – Cameron Diaz told a fascinated jury yesterday that she is as proud of her breasts “as any mother would be of her children.” Diaz, who is known around Hollywood for not being the sharpest note on the scale, testified that she considers her breasts “my two closest friends” and often seeks their Read More