October 2005 – postcards from the pug bus

Kobe Bryant Bobblehead Doll Accused of Rape

philmaggitti 429 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – West Chester police announced yesterday that they were seeking the newly minted Kobe Bryant bobblehead doll for questioning in connection with the alleged rape of a Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader doll that occurred in the drafting room of the Apollo Bobblehead Doll Company. “It’s too early to say whether the Kobe Read More

Celebrities

Angelina Jolie Wants to Adopt Basenji Next

Chip Hilton 434 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Adoptive mother Angelina Jolie paid a surprise visit to the ASPCA shelter yesterday. She was there, she told shelter employees, because she wanted to adopt a basenji, an African breed noted for its intelligence. Unfortunately, the shelter did not have any basenjis available. Nevertheless Ms. Jolie spent three hours being fingerprinted, answering Read More

Music

OutKast to Perform at Rosa Parks Tribute

Biff Scuzzy 437 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Hip-hop stars OutKast, who made Rosa Parks a household name, will perform at a tribute in her honor to be held tomorrow night at The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Parks, a retired seamstress and homemaker, died Monday October 24 in Detroit. She was 92. Other celebrities scheduled to Read More

Music

Starbucks to Give Away Rolling Stones Album

philmaggitti 480 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The Rolling Stones will release a compilation of “rare” tracks next month in partnership with the Starbucks Corporation and the group’s Virgin Records label. The album, entitled “Tall, Grande, Venti: Reheated Cups 1971-2003,” will debut on November 22 in Starbucks coffee shops, traditional music stores, and a temporary tongue-shaped kiosk in Read More

Music

Rolling Stones to Write Soundtrack for Rocky VI

philmaggitti 469 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Sylvester Stallone announced yesterday that the Rolling Stones have agreed to write the soundtrack for Rocky VI, whose working title is Rocky Balboa: The Beating Goes On. Sipping a Metamucil-carrot juice cocktail at a local health food store, Stallone, 60, told Postcards from the Pug Bus that he was looking forward to working with Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Waging War Against Satire

philmaggitti 458 Views 5 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Not satisfied to convert the world to Scientology one actress at a time—or “to take down the abomination that is psychiatry”—Tom Cruise has launched a war of the words against satire. Unfortunately for Chip Hilton, one of the most highly respected albeit psychologically fragile satirists writing today, Mr. Cruise elected to Read More