SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Apple CEO Tim Cook has a major surprise up his sleeve, at very least, as Apple throws its support behind National Butt Plug Day. “The iPlug, a combination thumb drive and butt plug, will be rolled out today,” said an inside source at Apple. “Expect Tim to be wearing one at today’s launch.”
In the event that you haven’t found a place in your life for butt plugs yet, said devices are meant to be inserted into the rectum for the purpose of providing sexual pleasure—a service they have been rendering since their invention in 1892. Leave it to Apple, however, after reinventing the phone and the portable music player, to see the light at the end of the tunnel beyond the butt plug’s heretofore limited use.
According to the source at Apple, the iPlug can store up to 1 gig of data and to sync via bluetooth with any Apple device, providing unmatched security and portability, not to mention the aforementioned pleasure. It will be available in several colors, but only one flavor. The MSPR is “in the neighborhood of $75.”
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