August 2005 – Page 2 – postcards from the pug bus

Julia Roberts Retiring Suit Against Her Breasts

Chip Hilton 571 Views 3 min read

TAOS, N.M. – Julia Roberts has quietly dropped a landmark civil lawsuit she had filed against her breasts. The suit, filed in Taos Municipal Court in late March, charged that Roberts’ hooters, which had grown from a 34-B to a 38-D since she gave birth to twins last year, not only inflicted personal hardship and Read More

Music

Rolling Stones Deliver Protest Song

Biff Scuzzy 446 Views 4 min read

NEW YORK – The Rolling Stones have never backed away from following a trend, nor have they been afraid to boldly go where others have gone before. In 1967 they strode mightily in the footsteps of the Beatles vastly overrated “Sergeant Pepper” and released the vastly underrated “Their Satanic Majesties Request.” In the mid-1970s, when Read More

Culture

Johnny Depp Set for Hunter S. Thompson Sendoff

philmaggitti 416 Views 4 min read

ASPEN, Colo. – Johnny Depp will interrupt filming of the second through fifth sequels of Pirates of the Caribbean to read selected passages from Hunter S. Thompson’s 352-page suicide note at an invitation-only memorial service for the late author. Depp, currently starring as a Michael Jackson look-alike in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, funded the construction of the Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Accused of Stalking Photographer

philmaggitti 419 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – A photographer shot near the groin with a pellet gun while chatting with friends in Malibu Saturday night has brought criminal charges against Britney Spears. According to papers filed in a Los Angeles County court, Brad Diaz, 33, accused Spears of “willfully and repeatedly stalking the plaintiff, thereby causing him mental anguish, Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Assignment Gets Paparazzo Popped

Chip Hilton 456 Views 3 min read

MALIBU – Pandemonium broke out Saturday night when a paparazzo stalking Britney Spears at a hilltop home was struck in the leg by a plastic pellet. As guests inside the home were giggling and making crude jokes whenever Spears opened another box of comic lingerie at a baby shower held in her honor, Spears’ husband Read More

News

Jackson Jury Told the Aristocrats Joke

philmaggitti 435 Views 4 min read

NEW YORK – Eleanor Cook and Ray Hultman, two jurors who voted to acquit Michael Jackson of child molestation charges earlier this year, have admitted that while the members of the jury were supposed to be considering the merits of the charges against Jackson, they were making up versions of “The Aristocrats” joke instead. Widely Read More

Celebrities

Brad Pitt Expanding Angelina Jolie Rumors Hotline

Chip Hilton 520 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Brad Pitt is expected to announce on Meet the Press Sunday the impending launch of Bradgelina 2.0, the updated version of his wildly popular rumors hotline. Beginning at 9:00 a.m. (EDST) on Thursday August 11, concerned Pitt fans who dial 1-900-NOT-TRUE will be able to hear Pitt deny in his own voice an entire new Read More

Celebrities

Jennifer Aniston Says She Wants to Have Baby

Chip Hilton 440 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Jennifer Aniston told Vanity Fair that she “desperately” wants to have a baby. Aniston, 36, who became a godmother in April, said she was so moved by the experience that she began to lactate halfway through the ceremony, ruining an expensive Victoria’s Secret bra and nearly fouling a $4,000 dress from Halston’s Christian Couture line. Read More

Celebrities

Jennifer Aniston Says Brad Pitt Is Gay

Chip Hilton 436 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – In her first interview since her breakup with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston told Vanity Fair she was initially “dumbfounded” when she saw photographs of Pitt with his hair dyed “a really gay blond” shortly after the couple had split. Aniston said she recalled thinking, “Ohmigod, he didn’t waste any time coming out, did he?” According Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Digs Lauren Bacall’s Irony

Chip Hilton 430 Views 3 min read

ROME – Tom Cruise said he finds Lauren Bacall’s recent remarks about him “supremely ironic.” Bacall’s observations, which appear in the August 8 issue of Time magazine, begin with the charge that Cruise’ recent behavior is shocking. “It’s inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially,” said Bacall, who appears Read More

Politics

President Bush Went AWOL from Boy Scouts, Democrats Charge

philmaggitti 431 Views 4 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Democrats in Congress have called for an investigation into President George W. Bush’s Boy Scout service. Even as the president offered words of comfort Sunday to more than fifty thousand scouts at their national jamboree in Virginia, Senate minority leader Harry M. Reed of Nevada announced the formation of Swift Scouts for Read More