The Buck-It List 5.0: Lifestyle Advice for Seniors
Ten more things we should quit doing while not going gently into that good night. End-of-the-road lifestyle advice for seniors.
There comes a point in life when self-improvement begins to look like unpaid overtime. Welcome to that point. If you have spent decades becoming a better person. Results most likely have been mixed. Buck-It List 5.0 is here to advise you, stop pretending to like things you would wish on your worst enemy.
Finishing books you hate. At age 83, page 27 constitutes adequate peer review. The author had his chance.
Learning other people’s preferred coffee orders. Especially if those coffee orders require a building permit.
Watching critically acclaimed television. If nothing happens until Episode Six, something happened: they wasted five hours of your life.
Keeping clothes for when they come back in style. If you personally witnessed both appearances of a fashion, you have fulfilled your obligation.
Answering the phone. Anyone important already knows how to disappoint you by text.
Having an opinion about every controversy. Civilization can proceed for several minutes without your position on what somebody said on a podcast.
Remembering passwords. You created GenghisKhan!47 in 2016. Even Genghis Khan has forgotten it.
Eating foods because they are good for you. Kale has had decades to become delicious. Its probation is over.
Attending anything described as “an opportunity to connect.” You have connected. Several connections were mistakes.
Planning to become a better person. The prototype has been in production for more than eight decades. Ship it.
The Buck-It List is about finally recognizing how much of life consists of obligations nobody actually assigned you. Enough. There are fewer days ahead than behind, and that makes each one considerably too expensive to spend pretending you enjoyed Episode Four.
If the ramblings of our fearless editor in briefs fancy your tickle, wander over to his Satirical Commentary page and try a line or two.