Each morning Harold stood at the red mailbox in a gray suit, breath held like a final note. Thirty-two years ago she had promised him a letter. Neighbors whispered; time scoffed. Still he waited—suit coat in July. One day, that day arrived. His knees buckled. It was addressed “Beloved.”
Laughter filled the courtroom when a colorful sock puppet appeared in place of the judge. Attorneys were gobsmacked. The jury was, too. The defendant, a pedophile dressed in a clown suit, looked confident when the puppet’s bias toward funny costumes emerged in his instructions to the jury. An acquittal followed.
(1) Deep breaths—because oxygen apparently cures existential dread. (2) Distract yourself—recite the Bee Movie script, backward. (3) Rebrand it—you’re not panicking; you’re having a passionate internal discussion. (4) Absurd Exaggeration–inflate your worries to ridiculous proportions, naked-people-in-the-audience proportions. (5) Meme Therapy–view comical memes, nothing deflates anxiety like a SpongeBob reaction image.… Read More
When Jesus was brought before Pilate for trial, the latter offered to free Jesus if he could say “Arkei moi tyrannē, mēden eti mallon atimon” three times rapidly. Jesus failed, changing the tongue twister’s meaning from “Enough for me, tyrant, nothing more dishonorable” to “Piss off, you camel-humping, maggot-ridden tyrant.”